There are few storylines in sports more compelling than a personal tale that comes full circle.
Be it a star returning to their hometown to win a championship, a breakout performance that's mirrored in a player's waning years, or an idiosyncratic journey like that of baseball's Adam Greenberg, sports fans simply love it when discrete events can be seen to fit into a grander, triumphant narrative.
Sports fans also love deluding themselves into believing that their individual thoughts, beliefs or actions can have a tangible impact on the outcome of a game in which they're not participating.*
With all of this in mind, allow me to give you a quick glimpse at the last four years of my life and demonstrate why -- if the soccer gods truly do possess a sense of symmetry and justice -- by next week, Canada will have advanced to the Hex.
[PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
***
I'm most assuredly not alone in looking back on 2008 with less-than-fond memories.
The series of events alternately dubbed the Great Recession, the "economic crisis" and "the beginning of western civilization's steep decline" sent millions worldwide into a financial panic. Few escaped the carnage untouched, either directly or indirectly, and that includes yours truly. My only source of employment (previously relatively reliable and stable) suddenly and unceremoniously dried up.
Losing a job for reasons beyond one's control is a harrowing and disheartening experience on its own. But in my case, it ended up being combined, within a few weeks, with the equally unceremonious dissolution of a long-term romantic relationship (sidenote: long-distance relationships don't work). Doubleplus ungood.
How dangerous was this emotional powder-keg? My grip on reality was so tenuous that I decided to fill the suddenly-gaping existential void with Canada's quest to qualify for South Africa 2010. Yeah.
A long-time fan of the team, I plumbed the depths of the Internet to fill my head with the requisite knowledge to safely define myself as gung-ho supporter. A long-time lurker, I became an overnight fiend on the Voyageurs' message board. A long-time aimless blogger of the various and sundry nonsense that entered my mind, I became the co-proprietor of the groundbreaking (sort of) Some Canadian Guys Writing About Soccer.
I desperately plopped all of my eggs into one basket, which I then mailed to Dale Mitchell along with a handwritten note: "Please handle carefully."
Yeah, well, we all know how that turned out.
***
OptaFact: 30. The approximate number of minutes I slept the night of Aug. 19-20, 2008. Nerves.
Hopes were high -- unrealistically so, as it turned out -- as Canada headed into its first-ever World Cup qualifier at the newly-minted BMO Field, against Jamaica. My first live World Cup qualifier ever, to boot. Unbeknownst to them, the psychic baggage of a lost job, a failed relationship and general uncertainty about the course of my life hung on the shoulders of the boys in red.
Then, as quickly as it had come, the World Cup dream was all but extinguished with a draw and a loss in two home games, including the infamous night in Montreal where the vastly-outnumbered contingent of Canadian fans endured 90+ minutes of Honduran theatrics on (diving, time-wasting, etc.) and off the field (thrown beers, fistfights, hurled rocks, etc.).
Mere weeks later, a Canadian loss in San Pedro Sula officially squelched our World Cup dreams. Post-game, after being thrown out of a bar and nearly arrested, I wandered off into the night, as unsure, worried and downtrodden about the state of my existence as I'd ever been in my life.
That night was October 11, 2008.
***
Skip ahead exactly four years, and nearly everything has changed.
Canada is still in very realistic contention to qualify for the next World Cup. Sure, it's still a long and torturous road, but a win and a draw in the next five days will almost definitely see us through to the Hex, a place Canada hasn't been since 1997.
And while Toronto FC has unfortunately descended into an utter and complete farce, the game of soccer in Canada is as healthy as it's ever been. Governance reform is being enacted, the viability of a new Canadian league is being investigated, fresh sponsors are being brought on board at a steady clip -- and, oh yeah, FC Edmonton has burst onto the scene, Major League Soccer has expanded into Vancouver and Montreal, and our women's national team defied the odds (and captured the nation's hearts) with their medal-winning performance at the Olympic Games.
And as for me? Well, that little website eventually became part of this behemoth known as Canadian Soccer News. Our podcast enjoyed a healthy run on Sportsnet.ca. I've built up a wealth of experience and made connections I couldn't have imagined in those dark days in 2008. And even more unimaginably, just this past weekend, I got engaged to a woman I love, respect and want to build a life with -- and we're currently grappling with all of the terrifyingly exciting upheaval that the grand life adventure entails.
So, suffice to say, I'm smack-dab in the middle of an entirely new chapter of my life. But for the transition to be complete, the demons of the past must be shed.
The Canadian team I knew -- the Canadian team I've known, cycle after cycle -- was one that couldn't qualify for the Hex. The semifinal qualifying round was their inevitable banana peel, their ceiling, the peak it was always assumed they couldn't surmount.
Yet, I've emerged from the darkest depths of self-wallowing and reached some points I'd never thought possible. And with all due deference to the good fortune and circumstance inherent in life, those are things I've worked to achieve. I've had some measure of control over them.
But I've got no control over this one. It's all up to the team.
This time, I'm holding nearly all of my eggs to myself. I'll send only one rotten, years-old egg to Stephen Hart. This time, the note reads: "Please dispose of this. And, while you're at it, Honduras."
So, to the 2012 edition of the boys in red, I beseech you: Do this for yourselves, and your careers, and your country. But, if I may be so selfish, please, do it for me too.
I need the closure that only you can provide.
***
* To be clear, I'm not foolish enough to suggest that my life circumstances, or anything else that I've done or will do, will have any bearing whatsoever on how Canada performs in these next two games. Nor am I presumptuous enough to think that I'm the only person whose life has undergone a massive positive transformation in the past four years in a way that's somewhat linked to Canadian soccer. Hell, I'm not even the only person who writes for CSN that falls into that category (hi, B.K.!) This is just, y'know, my personal tale. Also, please don't blame me if the team screws it all up again.