Complaining about something the CSA did or didn't do is a favourite pastime for Canadian supporters. The latest bugaboo was the fear that the men's national team wouldn't be utilizing the Aug. 15 international date to play a friendly, in preparation for the indescribably crucial pair of World Cup qualifiers against Panama on Sept. 7 and 11.
So it must have come as a shock to the system when it was confirmed on this site last week that the men's national team would, in fact, be playing a friendly on Aug. 15 against an as-yet-unknown opponent.
Despite head coach Stephen Hart's concerns that assembling a roster during the 48-hour window would be difficult, CSA president Victor Montagliani told Ben Rycroft that the friendly would be taking place in "this hemisphere" (presumably the western hemisphere), and that four potential opponents were being looked at.
So while we may have lost the ability to complain about the lack of an Aug. 15 friendly, we've still got plenty of opportunity to complain about the (potential) opponent! Allons-y!
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First off, let's indeed presume that the hemisphere in question is the western hemisphere, which gives Canada a list of 49 potential opponents (CONCACAF and CONMEBOL).
Now let's eliminate all of the nations who are already scheduled to play on that date:
USA v. Mexico
El Salvador v. Jamaica
Guatemala v. Panama
Argentina v. Germany
Brazil v. Sweden
Ecuador v. Chile
Costa Rica v. Peru
Uruguay v. France
Paraguay v. China
Venezuela v. Japan
Puerto Rico v. Spain (!!!)
That brings us down to 33 potential opponents. We'll also eliminate Honduras and Cuba from the mix, since they're in our World Cup qualifying group and there's no chance any of the teams involved want to give their opponents an extra scouting opportunity ahead of time. Now we've got 31.
Of those 31, there are a whole bunch that, let's be honest, wouldn't be worth the time, effort and expense to play a friendly against in this context -- though I'm sure they're wonderful places otherwise.
In the interest of full disclosure, the teams I'm including on that list are Anguilla, Aruba, Bahamas, Barbados, Belize, Bermuda, British Virgin Islands, Cayman Islands, Curacao, Dominica, Dominican Republic, French Guiana, Grenada, Martinique, Montserrat, St. Kitts and Nevis, St. Lucia, St. Martin, St. Vincent and the Grenadines, Sint Maarten, Suriname, Turks and Caicos Islands and the U.S. Virgin Islands.
That leaves us with eight: Antigua and Barbuda, Bolivia, Colombia, Guadeloupe, Guyana, Haiti, Nicaragua and Trinidad & Tobago. So, what could Canada (#68 in the FIFA rankings) gain from facing any one of these opponents?
Antigua and Barbuda is (are?) ranked #106 in the world but still going in World Cup qualifying, having pulled off a surprising 0-0 result against Jamaica on June 12. Not exactly rife with star power, but will surely have plenty of motivation to get themselves ready for their all-important qualifier against Guatemala on Sept. 7.
Bolivia comes in at #83 and, as anyone with a rudimentary knowledge of world geography could tell you, is located in South America. Ergo, they'd make a good opponent.
Colombia currently finds itself at #22 in the world and would give the Canadians a hell of a stern test. Which is the diplomatic way of saying they'd probably win. But Canada would get some experience in dealing with South American heat, crowds, etc. along the way.
Guyana sits at #109 in the world but is also still chugging along in World Cup qualifying, though they've got a hell of a lot of work to do in a group with Mexico, Costa Rica and El Salvador. Still, one would imagine that if they exist, Some Guyanese Guys Writing About Football are also calling for the squad to play an Aug. 15 friendly.
Guadeloupe doesn't have a FIFA ranking, because they aren't part of FIFA, but still magically show up at the Gold Cup every two years and still, somehow, hold their own. Sometimes they do pretty damn well. Those with a rudimentary knowledge of world geography may not be able to find Guadeloupe on a map, but what the hell, they'd probably be game for the friendly.
Haiti remarkably sits at #62 in the world, despite not having played since last November, when they were knocked out of World Cup qualifying. Don't know how jazzed the Canadian players making the journey from Europe or elsewhere would be about a mid-August trip to Port-au-Prince, though.
Nicaragua sits at a lowly #142 on the FIFA rankings and is out of World Cup qualifying. Included on this list mostly because playing there could provide some more of that much-valued "Central American experience", and because Grant got really, really drunk there one time.
Trinidad and Tobago have a whole lot of time on their hands after being shockingly dismissed from World Cup qualifying last year. Playing against the #80-ranked team would give Canada a reasonably-matched opponent, and might give Stephen Hart a chance to visit some of his favourite childhood haunts.
So, who's it going to be? Who's your favourite from that list? And who's your not-my-favourite-but-the-one-that-I-think-they'll-end-up-playing anyway?
(Oh, and for the sake of convenience -- and to give us something else to complain about! -- let's just assume that whoever the opponent ends up being, Canada will be playing on the road.)
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