In what can only be considered a desperate (yet obviously effective) attempt to generate controversy, Rolling Stone will soon publish an interview with pop star Justin Bieber in which he's asked for his views on such issues as abortion and world politics.
On the former, he claims "It's like killing a baby?" while on the latter, he intelligently opines, "Whatever they have in Korea, that's bad."
Now, say what you will about the Biebs, but you can't fault a 16-year-old who lives in an insulated bubble of musical stardom for not having well-thought-out views on the pertinent issues of the day. The blame for this nonsense falls on whichever dipshits thought it was a good idea to ask him those questions in the first place, when anyone with half a brain could tell he'd have no useful responses to provide, given his life experience.
But then I thought, hey, if it worked for Rolling Stone, maybe it'll work for us. So I have some questions to pose to a number of folks in the world of soccer, even if they're wildly inappropriate.
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To John Terry: Numerous organizations have voiced opposition to the idea of homosexuals getting married, citing a belief in the so-called "sanctity of marriage". Thoughts?
To David Beckham: Do you believe that the successful uprising in Egypt, as well as the other demonstrations of civil unrest in the Middle East and northern Africa serve as a damning indictment of the United States' foreign policy in the region over the past 40 years; and if so, what approach should the Obama administration take going forward in order to mitigate the risk of extremist elements rising up amidst potential power vacuums?
Followup to David Beckham: So, that Brett Favre. Real piece of work, huh?
To Stoke City's goalkeeper: What do you think of the book How To Win Friends And Influence People?
To Gennaro Gattuso: Which are cuter, puppies or bunnies?
To Arjen Robben: Favourite hair gel?
To Sepp Blatter: In the famous Terminator film series, the beginning of the end for humanity comes when Skynet becomes self-aware. How important is complete self-awareness when it comes to running an organization such as FIFA?
To Jack Warner: Do you ever get tired of being honest all the time?
To Chuck Blazer: What's your favourite type of salad dressing?
To Rohan Ricketts: Have you ever heard of Twitter?
Y'all get the general idea. I'm sure you've got some of your own percolating in those pretty little heads of yours. Let's hear 'em!
Image credit: soccer-academy.net