After a several-hour delay (which prompted a rather hilarious torrent of #MLSScheduleisLateBecause tweets), Major League Soccer unveiled its full 2011 schedule on Thursday. Below are some of the big dates around which we can all plan our years.
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Saturday, March 19: Toronto FC @ Vancouver Whitecaps: Wherein Vancouverites get to celebrate their entry into MLS by gloating to traveling Reds supporters about the beautifully non-descript spring weather... and, most likely, an on-field victory.
Saturday, March 26: Portland Timbers @ Toronto FC: Wherein TFC supporters use the 40-50 Timbers Army members who've made the cross-continental journey to BMO Field as proof that support for Portland's MLS entry isn't really that
Saturday, April 2: Sporting Kansas City @ Vancouver Whitecaps: Wherein the Southsiders get the opportunity to express their deep, heartfelt appreciation for Teal Bunbury.
Saturday, June 4: Sporting Kansas City @ Toronto FC: Wherein the Toronto crowd gets to follow up on the warm, Canadian hospitality shown to Teal Bunbury two months earlier.
Saturday, June 11: Vancouver Whitecaps @ Seattle Sounders: Wherein, if we're lucky, the potential exchange of fisticuffs is defused by shared commiseration over the fate of Keith Olbermann on MSNBC.
Wednesday, June 29: Vancouver Whitecaps @ Toronto FC: Wherein supporters on one side consistently refer to their team's superior placement in the standings, while the other side either digs up obscure statistical metrics to corroborate their team's actual superiority... or just gets drunk and yells "wanker" a lot.
Saturday, August 20: Vancouver Whitecaps @ Portland Timbers: Wherein the Southsiders and Timbers Army pretend to like each other by exchanging bitter rejoinders about how "those pricks in Seattle" got to MLS before they did.
Saturday, September 10: Toronto FC @ Columbus Crew: Wherein Duane Rollins gets hit with a Taser.