There's been all sorts of kerfuffle around in the last couple of days about Robbie Keane making the dramatically nonsensical switch from Tottenham Hotspur (boo!) to the Vancouver Whitecaps (indifferent shrug). Honest – there is. Why, even the British press is in on the story.
I can only assume that this would be met with unmitigated hoopla-ing from Whitecaps faithful – it's not everyday that a Canadian team is linked with a big-name-but-destined-to-be-moved-somewhere premier leaguer. And Robbie Keane, for all my harumpfing about him being a Spurs players, would be one heck of an addition: he's nabbed 121 goals in 332 EPL games, and is Ireland's all-time leading scorer.
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The Whitecaps, of course, have made all the "oh-pish-posh" comments typical of a team that is a) trying to make people not notice they're signing someone, 
trying to make people not notice that they didn't really think of signing that guy but they probably should or c) make people not notice they've failed to sign the guy because he rightly thinks he's too good to play for them.
“We haven't made any firm decisions on designated players but over the next few weeks, that's going to be at the top of our agenda as we move into the January transfer window,” the Globe and Mail tells us Whitecaps chief executive officer Paul Barber said after a news conference. “There are a lot of great players out there."
“Robbie Keane, having worked with him for five years — fantastic player, great guy — but we've got our minds open to a very large market.”
So it could be so much baloney, but it could be something more: Barber was, until relatively recently, an executive a Tottenham, so he'd have the inside track to Harry Rednapp's ear.
Whether this is a good idea or a bad one is a whole other question: high-profile designated players haven't exactly lit up MLS. David Beckham, Freddie Ljungberg, Thierry Henry, Rafa Marquez all came in with much fanfare, and none had the impact their clubs would have hoped. And Tottenham insists that Keane is worth 6 million – a huge amount by MLS standards, especially for someone who's barely played this year, and hasn't been a regular since his failed move to Liverpool in 2008. The pressure would be on both Keane and the 'Caps' front office to see a big return on that investment.
On the other hand, Keane is only 30 – relatively young for a big-time name heading to MLS – and certainly still has goals in him. That a rebuilding Aston Villa – along with Newcastle and Celtic – is interested in Keane speaks to his enduring value as a top-level player.
In the end, if Vancouver is looking to make a splash in their inaugural MLS season, they could do a lot worse than having Keane lead the line. But, of course, this could turn out to be so much transfer gossip nonsense.