This is part of my series of "fearless" (i.e. irrelevant) predictions for various areas of Canadian soccer in 2014. For any idea of why I'm doing this, click here.
It was a strange year for Big Red in 2013. With no way to top (or even match) the emotional high of 2012's Olympic medal, John Herdman's team spent the last 12 months experimenting and figuring out how the pieces all fit together ahead of the 2015 Women's World Cup on Canadian <strike>soil</strike> turf.
So there's plenty to look forward to, and plenty up in the air for the ladies in the year to come... including, possibly, some of the following things!
Fearless Predictions for the Canadian Women's National Team in 2014
Kara Lang will score a goal for Canada. While this doesn't seem like an especially daring prediction, given that her comeback effort has been top of mind for months, no one would have (even jokingly) made this prediction in 2013, would they? It would have seemed disrespectful towards a talented player whose career was cut short too soon. But hey, here we are, and this is one of the few serious predictions I'm making in this whole series. Even if it doesn't come true, the fact that it's even a reasonable prediction to make is, in itself, remarkable.
[PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
Christine Sinclair will score a goal for Canada. Haha, get it? This one is a joke because of course she's going to score because she always scores because she is good lololo
John Herdman will continue to erroneously refer to Brittany Baxter as Brittany Timko. The team will, in response, set up a jar into which he has to drop a quarter every time he makes the mistake. Herdman will continue to intentionally make the error so that he can fill the jar and donate the proceeds to a charity. Every soccer fan in Canada will continue swooning at everything he does.
There will be a pitch invasion during a game at the Cyprus Cup. The game will proceed for three minutes, as the referee will fail to notice the additional four people on the field.
Karina Le Blanc will disavow all modern technology. The gregarious goalkeeper will publicly make a pledge to refrain from using cameras, cellphones, social media or any of the other trappings of contemporary society. She will uphold this pledge for a grand total of 17 minutes, then record a KK Cam segment detailing how hard it was.
More members of the team will start up food trucks. Following in the footsteps of Emily Zurrer and Selenia Iacchelli, other members of the team will live out their entrepreneurial spirit. Diana "The Economist" Matheson will take care of the books for all of them.
The CSA will outlaw humorous Twitter accounts that are based upon a particular characteristic, wardrobe choice or habit of a member of the CanWNT team or coaching staff. The operators of the 813 such accounts already in existence will be devastated.
A nine-year-old will make history as the youngest player to suit up for a senior national team. Herdman's quest to gradually make the team younger in 2013 -- integrating 18-year-old Kadeisha Buchanan, then 16-year-old Sura Yekka, then 15-year-old Jessie Fleming -- will reach ludicrous extremes in 2014. By August, several classmates from a Grade 4/5 class in Alberta will make their debuts in midfield.
Long-time Canadian soccer nerds will continue trying to establish and publicize Big Red as the team's nickname. It still won't work.
What did I miss? Add your own predictions in the comments section below.
.