Normally I'd use this space to answer questions about recent refereeing decisions, and to address general issues around the Laws of the Game. But with the Premiership snowed out, and everyone busy Christmas shopping, the demand hasn't really been there this week. So instead, for the final edition of Don't Fight The Laws in 2010, I'll be sharing with all of you some of my favourite video clips of the best moments in soccer, the moments when the referee gets to exert their full power and authority.
That's right, I'm talkin' red cards.
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This one's a countdown from a Chinese TV show of some kind. Since I don't speak Mandarin or Cantonese (or even know which one's being spoken in this clip), I have no clue as to how these sendings-off are "ranked". By stupidity of the action? Stupidity of the decision? Flamboyancy of the uniforms?
#8 and #5 stand out to me, because they showcase one of the sweetest moments in soccer: A player diving, not getting the call and then, to sell the dive, getting ridiculously upset about the non-call and, in the process, being rewarded with an early trip to the locker room.
Honourable mention to #9 as well. If I were on the bench and Pierluigi Collina came sprinting in my direction, I wouldn't wait for the card, I'd get the hell outta there quick, before I turned to stone (or dropped a brick in my shorts).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9IY7muKcW2E
This one's a bit bloated, seeing as it follows the recent trend of taking less than a minute of actual footage and stretching it into several minutes by adding "hilarious" commentary on the proceedings from a bunch of nobodies (don't comment that these Brit folks are actually stars over there, I don't give a shit).
(Also, please don't comment on me taking their commentary and commenting on it further, as you'd just be adding to the horrid online regurgitation snowball).
It's no surprise to see Collina and David Beckham showing up in this video as well... but Ray Wilkins? Oh yes, folks. For those who know him only as the bald guy who stood beside whoever happened to be managing Chelsea during a given week over the past few years, be aware he holds quite a dubious record as a player too.
And finally, to any referees worried about getting a bad reaction to a yellow card, perhaps consider this novel approach:
As I said, this will be the last edition of Don't Fight The Laws for 2010.
But send in your questions about the Laws of the Game, contentious decisions, or anything about refereeing in general to canadiansoccerguys@gmail.com, and I'll endeavour to answer them in 2011.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to celebrate the holiday season in a very special way: