Welcome to this week's Designated Player Roundup, which usually takes a look at how the league's 16 DPs fared over the past week of MLS play. For some background on each of these fellows, check out the first edition of DP Roundup.
This week, it's quick and dirty. Just the facts, ma'am. A minimum of attempted shots at humour (note: in this context, "a minimum" does not mean zero).
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Week 11 (May 23 - May 29)
Archives: Week 1 | Week 2 | Week 3 | Week 4 | Week 5 | Week 6 | Week 7 | Week 8 | Week 9 | Week 10
David Beckham (LA): Not even on the bench for the Galaxy's midweek affair with Houston (a 1-0 win), then assists on the winning goal in another 1-0 win for L.A., over New England on Saturday. Becks is second in the league in assists (with seven), but still first in the league in confirmed Spice Girls shagged (with one).
Juan Pablo Angel (LA): Turned in 61 minutes worth of work against Houston, launching four shots during that time, then watched the game against the Revs from some place that wasn't the field or the substitutes' bench. Or maybe he did something else with his time; I'm not one to speculate.
Landon Donovan (LA): Everyone's favourite hero scores the lone goal for L.A. in the midweek victory, then turns in another 90 minutes for his squad on Saturday. Unflappable, that Landycakes.
Julian de Guzman (Toronto): Was caught in the worst weatherbomb in the history of meteorology [citation needed] in TFC's washed-out midweek Voyageurs Cup final with Vancouver, then had the good fortune of being yanked at halftime during Toronto's ignominious 6-2 drubbing at the hands of Philadelphia on Saturday.
Branko Boskovic (DC): Sitting out hurt for the season, dreaming of what may have been.
Thierry Henry (NY): Slotted one home for the Red Bulls in a midweek 2-2 draw with Colorado, but aggravated a knee injury in the process, and the Face-Fur Experience was forced to cancel its scheduled tour date in Vancouver on the weekend.
Rafael Marquez (NY): With Mexico playing a number of friendlies, Rafa was nowhere to be seen in New York's lineup meaning, once again, he's gone a full week without any MLS red cards. Disappointing.
Alvaro Fernandez (Seattle): Came off as a sub in the second half midweek against Dallas, then pulled up lame with a buggered hamstring early in the first half against Salt Lake on the weekend, being subbed out yet again. Injuries are no laughing matter. So, no laughing.
Fredy Montero (Seattle): Contributed 75 minutes of his time, but no goals, in the Sounders' 1-0 loss to Dallas on Wednesday, then came on as a 70th-minute sub and provided sufficient moral support to help his team close out a rare victory at Rio Tinto Stadium.
Omar Bravo (KC): Getting back into the swing of things in his second week back after missing two months with a sports hernia, Bravo had five shots during 85 minutes of work in a 1-1 draw against Colorado.
Alvaro Saborio (Salt Lake): Off on international duty with Costa Rica, which is nice for him and Ticos fans I'm sure, but didn't do much for soggy soccer fans in Sandy, Utah.
Eric Hassli (Vancouver): He, uh, scored a goal on Wednesday? Though the game never happened, so I guess the goal never happened. But he was there, he put the ball in the net, there was a referee and everything. Meh, maybe I dreamed it. Seemed pretty foggy, come to think of it. The one he scored against New York on Saturday though, it definitely counted.
Andres Mendoza (Columbus): Scored... two goals? Huh? Is this match report from South America in 2006? Nah, apparently he actually scored two MLS goals against Chivas USA. Sure, his team still didn't win, but you can't have everything.
Fabian Castillo (Dallas): The 18-year-old (!!!) figured in both of FC Dallas's games this week, coming off as a second-half sub in both and remaining off the score sheet in both.
David Ferreira (Dallas): Hurt. Bah.
Diego Chara (Portland): His biggest event of the week was being on the field to witness these shenanigans on Sunday night:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lrog6d7GR5E
DP Deathwatch 2011
1. Andres Mendoza: Yeah, whatever, even a blind squirrel finds a nut or two every once in a while. Here's the Simpsons clip.
2. Branko Boskovic: See last week's comments. For your convenience, I've cut and pasted them: It seems mean, given that he's on the shelf. But he's 30 and recovering from a major leg injury, so we may well have already seen his final appearance as a designated player.
3. Alvaro Fernandez: Huzzah, an excuse (albeit a flimsy and somewhat callous one) to get him back on the list!
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