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    Guest

    Timbers New Kits Unveiled

    By Guest, in West Coast Soccer Podcast,

    Our Cascadia Cup Rivals are donning some new duds.
    The Portland Timbers creative marketing team has been hard at work this past year, they churned out several brilliant adverts in advance of their re-brand. While I quite liked their re-brand, apparently the Timbers Army didn't appreciate the "cartoony" look of it. At the unveiling of the new cresting the Timbers Army boo'ed boisterously. After much discussion between the T.A. and the clubs front office, the suits went back to the drawing board and tweaked the new logo.
    Today the Timbers however appear to have hit a home run. Initially the leaked pics of the kit available from MLS Rumors appeared awkward. After watching their "Runway on the Runway" opinions have certainly changed.
    Two tones of green on the front, separated by the clubs classic chevrons down the middle.
    Then minds were blown!

    In a bold move, the club went with a red secondary kit as a nod to their nickname "The Rose City". It will be interesting to see the reception the new kit gets from the majority of the clubs fans. For now all things seem to be coming up Roses...
    (sorry)
    Guest

    More Emil Cohen

    By Guest, in 24th Minute,

    For those interested, the Emil Cohen case will be featured tonight on Rogers television's Goldhawk Live from 9-10 p.m., on channel 10 in the Toronto region.
    Apparently the school is going to make a decision regarding his case tomorrow.
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    Guest

    First MLS combine list

    By Guest, in 24th Minute,

    For all the NCAA geeks out there, here is the first list of names invited to the MLS combine (AKA - a list of 3rd and 4th round draft picks). Show off your knowledge in the comments section if you see a diamond in the rough.
    Below the jump:
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    GOALKEEPERS (5): Bryan Meredith (Monmouth); Jeff Attinella (University of South Florida); Jimmy Maurer (South Carolina); Joe Willis (University of Denver);Josh Ford (UConn);
    DEFENDERS (17): A.J. Soares (California); Bilal Duckett (Notre Dame); Bobby Warshaw (Stanford); Christopher Korb (Akron); Colin Givens (Michigan State); Curtis Ushedo (UAB); Demitrius Omphroy (California); Eddie Ababio (UNC); Greg Klazura (Notre Dame); Greg King (UConn); Indy Smith (UNC Wilmington); Jalil Anibaba (UNC); JT Murray (Louisville); Juan Cruz (SMU); Michael Boxall (UCSB); Rich Balchan (Indiana); Tyler Lassiter (North Carolina State)
    Midfielders (21): Anthony Ampaipitakwong (Akron); Blake Brettschneider (South Carolina); Cole Grossman (Duke); Daniel Keat (Dartmouth); Dustin McCarty(UNC); Ernesto Carranza (Sacramento State); Guillermo Cortes (Maryland); Hector Jimenez (California); Jimmy Banks (Green Bay); John (Jeb) Brovsky (Notre Dame); Jon Okafor (Brown); Josue Soto(SMU); Karl Reddick (Boston College); Konrad Warzycha (Ohio State); Lebogang Pila (St. Peter's College); Matheus Braga (Penn State); Matt Gold (Ohio State); Michael Farfan (UNC); Servando Carrasco (California); Stephen McCarthy (UNC); Tommy Drake (Clemson);
    Forwards (11): Amani Walker (UCI); Ashley McInnes (Tulsa); Brayan Martinez (Seton Hall University); C.J. Sapong (James madison); Davis Paul (California); Efrain Burgoes (Cal Poly San Luis Obispo), Jason Herrick (Maryland); Justin Meram (Michigan); Levi Houapeu (UMBC); Philip Bannister (Loyola University Maryland); Steven Perry (Notre Dame).
    Guest

    A seed of hope for sub-17s

    By Guest, in 24th Minute,

    Canada has been seeded for the CONCACAF qualifying draw for the 2011 u17 men's World Cup, which is being held in Mexico June 18-July 10. The draw is next Wednesday.
    The qualifying tournament is being held in Jamaica February 14-27.
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    Canada joins host Jamaica, the United States and Costa Rica as seeded teams. They will be drawn into four groups of three, with the winners advancing to Mexico.
    As hosts, Mexico is excluded from qualifying.
    Changes in the professional environment in Canada combined with the removal of Mexico from the event means this is likely Canada’s best chance at advancing to the tournament in a while. It's been 15 years since Canada last played at the World Cup in this age group. It has been a part of four World Cups in 1995, 1993, 1989 and 1985.
    The other pots are:
    Pot B: El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras and Panama
    Pot C: Trinidad & Tobago, Cuba and two of Barbados, Haiti, Dominica Republic and Guyana.
    It's difficult to handicap the sub-17 event, but Honduras has finished in the top four of CONCACAF qualifying during the last four cycles. The group of death will be whoever draws the Central Americans.
    Canada's roster at its most recent camp was:
    GK- Maxime Crépeau | CAN / Académie Impact Montréal | Candiac, QC, CAN
    GK- Xander Huggins | CAN / Toronto FC Academy | Port Perry, ON CAN
    GK- Quillan Roberts | CAN / Portugal FC | Brampton, ON, CAN
    D- Ismaïl Benomar | CAN / Académie Impact Montréal | Laval, QC, CAN
    D- Adam Polakiewicz | CAN / Vancouver Whitecaps FC | Kitchener, ON, CAN
    D- Parker Seymour | CAN / Toronto FC Academy | Toronto, ON, CAN
    D- Daniel Stanese | CAN / Vancouver Whitecaps FC | Pitt Meadows, BC, CAN
    M- Bryce Alderson | CAN / Vancouver Whitecaps FC | Kitchener, ON, CAN
    M- Keven Aleman | CAN / Toronto FC Academy | Brampton, ON, CAN
    M- Dylan Carreiro | CAN / Toronto FC Academy | Winnipeg, MB, CAN
    M- Jay Chapman | CAN / Ajax Strikers | Campbellford, ON, CAN
    M- Luca Gasparotto | CAN / Ajax Strikers | Ajax, ON, CAN
    M- Ryan James | CAN / Dixie SC | Mississauga, ON, CAN
    M- Omari Morris | CAN / Portugal FC | Ajax, ON, CAN
    M- Christopher Nanco | CAN / Sigma FC Academy | Brampton, ON, CAN
    M- Matteo Pasquotti | CAN / Vancouver Whitecaps FC | Fort MacLeod & Lethbridge, AB, CAN
    M- Samuel Piette | CAN / FC Boisbriand | Le Gardeur, QC, CAN
    M/F- Marco Lapenna | CAN / Académie Impact Montréal | Montréal, QC, CAN
    F- Jalen Brome | CAN / Toronto FC Academy | Ajax, ON, CAN
    F- Wesley Cain | CAN / Portugal FC | Guelph, ON, CAN
    F- Sadi Jalali | CAN / Edmonton Juventus | Edmonton, AB, CAN
    Guest
    Canadians need no introduction to the man they call "Grapes". For international readers, a quick primer: Cherry hosts a segment called Coach's Corner on the weekly Hockey Night in Canada show on our public broadcaster, the CBC. He's loud and outlandish, loves on-ice thuggery and despite being a dinosaur in most senses of the word, he has an alarming level of influence on the country's sports media and overall culture. Proof: He finished seventh in the CBC's list of greatest Canadians, one spot ahead of John A. Macdonald, the first prime minister of the freakin' country.
    Yes, we apparently think our Jim Rome is "greater" than our George Washington.
    But however flawed and anachronistic his message about "the Canadian way" may be, one thing's for sure: He is a vocal, unabashed and unwavering cheerleader for our national hockey teams. No one uses their soapbox to promote Team Canada more frequently and forcefully than Cherry -- whether you think his influence is for good or for bad, you must admit, he definitely keeps the national program in the public discussion.
    So maybe that's what Canadian soccer needs to finally break into the mainstream -- someone who'll unapologetically promote our national teams at every opportunity. Yes, Canadian soccer needs its own Don Cherry (well, minus the ill-advised politicking). And I've got some suggestions as to who might fit the bill.
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    Jason de Vos: He had a decorated professional and national team career. He was a vital part of a championship-winning squad. He takes a thoughtful, intelligent approach to his commentary on the game. He's been entrusted with the task of teaching a youthful generation of players about the modern game. He dresses like a normal human being. And as a kid, he had the option of pursuing hockey as an athletic career, but turned it down.
    So, in pretty much every way possible, he's the anti-Cherry. That's definitely worth something, I think.
    Proposed segment names: De Vos Whips It, Tractor Traction, Captain's Corner
    Craig Forrest: He's got plenty of broadcasting experience, and definitely isn't afraid to speak his mind -- especially when something irks him. His Canadian credentials are bulletproof (we wouldn't have won the 2000 Gold Cup without him... well, and a fortuitous coin flip), and he's never reluctant to harken back to his own personal "good old days" (which apparently riles some people up).
    Plus he's got his own ready-made Ron McLean in Gerry Dobson.
    Proposed segment names: Forrest For The Trees, Craig's Hammer Time, Keeper's Corner
    Bob Lenarduzzi: The Duz is to Canadian soccer what Cherry pretends he is to Canadian hockey: a successful player (300+ pro games to Cherry's one), a successful coach (four championships and almost World Cup qualification to Cherry's two NHL finals appearances) and a successful cultivator of young talent (the Whitecaps Academy versus... I dunno, the Rock 'em Sock 'em series?)
    He's no stranger to the media, and speaking his mind therein, and certainly wouldn't be expected to shy away from controversy (see: current brouhaha involving the Southsiders).
    Also, he has lots of experience dealing with fans and their questions...


    Proposed segment names: Hobknobbin' with Bob, Duz Or Lose, The Van Man Sayeth
    Joey Saputo: You want brash, brazen and unhampered by worries about the consequences of his commentary? Well then, look no further than the owner of the Montreal Impact. Given the upcoming changes to the club's academy, and the team's avowed commitment to support local talent, Saputo's got solid credentials in the Canadian footie sphere as well. Plus, Saputo wouldn't need a Ron McLean-type sidekick making horrible puns... he's already got enough cheese as it is.
    Yeah, I went there.
    Proposed segment names: Saputoh-no-you-didn't, Making An Impact, Fromage (co-hosted by Ed The Sock)
    Carolina Morace: Considering Cherry's well-worn xenophobia, picking a European import to be his footie counterpart would be a delicious bit of irony. Morace's got the coaching credentials down, of course (before our women's national team, she helmed the Italian national team and became the first woman to manage a professional men's side).
    Also, like Grapes, her grasp of the English language is sometimes tenuous at best (though, as a non-native speaker, she comes by it honestly), and she's perfectly happy to make her opinion known, with passion and conviction, regardless of whether the content of her message is fully intelligible to those receiving it.
    Proposed segment names: Carolina's Corner, More Morace, The Rallyin' Italian Show
    Rohan Ricketts: Sure, he's not Canadian, and probably doesn't know much about our national teams. But he clearly still has a soft spot for Toronto after his tenure at TFC, and if you want a "talker" who's completely unashamed of self-promotion and appears not to have much of a filter (that is, a footie version of Don Cherry), you'd be hard-pressed to find a better candidate than Ricketts.
    Ben Knight: Yes, I'm speaking of the most decorated member of the Canadian Soccer News team, who'll never shy away from expressing his opinion on matters of Canadian soccer in any media format available. He's got the knowledge, the passion and the ability to stir the pot... and, like Cherry, he's got his share of esoteric obsessions (ask him how Port Vale is doing, next chance you get).
    But above all, he's got the wardrobe. If there's anyone in Canadian soccer who can come close to matching Cherry's penchant for the offbeat and eyebrow-raising, it's certainly Ben. If you're a long-time follower of It's Called Football, you know Ben's tickle trunk is nearly as well-stocked as Mr. Dressup's.
    Though, in Ben's defence, he doesn't hold the top spot on the list of most dubious sartorial decisions in ICF history. At least he never wore a dress.
    - - -
    Those are the picks I came up with. Have you got a favourite? Or do you have a better suggestion? That's what ye olde comment section is for. I just ask, as
    , that you be a man (or a woman) and put your name on it.
    Guest

    Alberta: Letter to the Editor

    By Guest, in Onward Soccer,

    Editors Note:
    It isn't normally the practice of Canadian Soccer News to print letters or comments that are sent to us. But given that much of the Alberta conversation here, and on the Voyageurs board, has been carried out anonymously or with a screen name, it is certainly worthy of attention when someone is willing to stand up, put their name on record and say what they have to say.
    This letter from Shaun Lowther doesn't come from someone in either camp but from the quiet majority who makes up the ASA membership - a membership, who we are hearing, have become increasingly tired of the political infighting and now just want to get back to growing the game in Alberta.
    And if the name Lowther sounds familiar to you that's because Shaun carries a bit of distinction with him - he was a part of the 1984 Canadian Olympic team that made the quarterfinals and was a member of our national team between 1983-1985.
    Here is the letter printed in its entirety.
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    Ben Rycroft
    Canadian Soccer News
    Editor in Chief
    ___
    Dear Mr. Knight,
    I would like to thank-you for getting involved in reporting on this absolutely horrendous situation in Alberta. I would like to put my name on the record and not hide behind the unregistered username. My name is Shaun Lowther and I have been involved in the sport for many, many years as first a professional player, coach and now General Manager of one of the larger clubs in Calgary, Alberta. I was very fortunate to have played for the Vancouver Whitecaps in the old NASL and to represent Canada in the heyday of Canadian soccer. I played in several games in the 1986 World Cup qualifying campaign as well as in most of the games in the 1984 Olympic qualifying campaign. I was inducted into the Canadian Soccer Hall of Fame last year as a member of the 1986 World Cup team. I am not trying to advertise my credentials but rather give a little background on my experience and also to qualify that I am right in the heart of this dispute in Alberta.
    Like you I am completely in favour of Governance reform within not only the CSA but also within Provincial and District Associations. I truly believe that the dispute in Alberta is so entrenched now that the only possible way that the ASA can move forward is by absolutely starting from scratch and get rid of both the Charpentier and Billings groups. We need to start fresh and get people on to the ASA board that are totally removed from either party. These same people must not be representatives on District and/or the CSA boards. I find it truly amazing that people believe they can not have a conflict of interest when representing two, three or sometimes four different governing bodies. If we look at this dispute it seems that both parties have dirty laundry and they should all step aside.
    I would suggest that if the two warring factions truly do have the best interests of the game at heart they will all voluntarily step aside and let the membership decide who the ASA board of directors will be. I know I am probably being naive but it is what most people I have spoken to who are not involved with either group would like to see happen.
    There are enough quality people here in Alberta who have been involved at high levels of play and have now moved on to different careers that would be of tremendous benefit to the Association. All it takes is to ask these people to get involved and to give back to move the association to new levels. A lot of these former players or coaches would not be in the game to advance there political standing in soccer so that they would be able to take trips, or receive blazers etc as they would have "been there done that" as players and or coaches. I know that not all volunteer board members are the same in this regard but my past experience with some of them as led me to the conclusion that they are using their district or provincial boards as stepping stones to get to the promised land of the CSA or beyond.
    If there was a real, genuine effort by the district associations to allow an independent ASA "Board of Directors" to empower staff to run the association I have no doubt in my mind that we (Alberta) would be able to compete with Ontario, Quebec and BC in respect to player, coach and referee development. We already have many clubs that compete with other clubs throughout the country. We now need to band together in this difficult time to move our association forward and start to produce players that can play professionally and for our National teams. As a former National team member I am ashamed at the low ranking that our Mens team has within CONCACAF and FIFA. It is easy to point the blame at the CSA but we are all accountable for the predicament we find ourselves in.
    Anyway I have ranted on long enough so once again thank-you for bringing this dispute the attention it deserves nationally and i do not wish any of this on any of the other Provinces as it has been absolutely "shocking" for the Alberta soccer community. Keep up the good work!
    Yours in Soccer
    Shaun Lowther
    Guest

    Canada - Algeria in March?

    By Guest, in 24th Minute,

    Algerian sources are reporting that Canada has approached the FAF about playing a friendly during the March international break (link in French).
    Canada has asked that the game be played March 29 at a European location. The Algerians are playing a African Cup of Nations qualifier just two days before. The report is suggesting that Algeria would rather play the game a day later, on March 30.
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    The international break runs from March 26-30. It might prove more difficult for Canada to play on the final day of the break as players will need to travel back to their clubs immediately after the game.
    Interestingly the reports indicate that Canada will be "on tour" in Europe during the break. That's likely confirming that Canada will be once again holding a European camp.
    Algeria is currently ranked 34th in the world, although they have slipped several spots in 2010 after reaching an historic high of 26th a year ago this month. That ranking came after a remarkable two year rise up the rankings from 103rd in January 2008.
    Canada and Algeria have never met.
    I'm including this video to suck up to our American readers:


    Guest
    Question de tranquillement se préparer pour la saison de la MLS (2012!), je perds mon temps à regarder les nouveaux maillots qui seront utilisés par les clubs en 2011. Jusqu'à présent, deux clubs ont officiellement présenté leurs maillots.
    Le Seattle Sounders a dévoilé son nouveau maillot AWAY et je dois dire que je suis content de voir qu'ils ont mis de côté le look fluo. Le club a préféré miser sur un look plus sobre, ce qui signifie que le maillot ne brillera plus dans le noir.

    Du côté de Houston, le maillot 2011 affichera un nouveau commanditaire, la compagnie de recyclage Greenstar.
    Logiquement, on a gardé le look orange, mais portez attention à la 2e image. Le maillot est inspiré... du maillot 1988 des Pays-Bas. Hmm, je n'ai pas fait de recherche mais je suis assez curieux de voir le lien entre l'équipe Pays-Bas 1988 et celle du Dynamo 2011.
    Euh... Aura-t-on droit à du Total Football en 2011 ?



    Guest
    Having been nominated for World Player of the Year once again, Lionel Messi announced today that he is giving up soccer to pursue his one true love - gymnastics.
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    While he clearly has a long way to go, we at Canadian Soccer News wish him well in his new endeavors.
    Guest

    Hurry up and wait

    By Guest, in 24th Minute,

    It should come as no great shock that TFC, along with 16 other MLS teams, passed in today's phase one re-entry draft. I had been told for several days now that the Reds were very unlikely to pick anyone and the reason was simple -- there was no value in doing so in the first phase.
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    Both players selected in the draft were on the cheap side. Joseph Ngwenya went first overall to DC United. By picking him they agreed to pick up the option year of his contract, which is thought to be $75,600. That's hardly going to handcuff United, but it's still a little more than most fans would like to see paid to an attacking player that has two goals since 2008.
    Columbus picked up Aaron Hohlbein from Kansas City. He was out of contract, which means that the Crew have agreed to submit a "Bona Fide Offer" to him. In practice that means a five per cent raise, or $42,000.
    Some might be surprised that the bigger names didn't attract attention. Again, it comes down to money and fit within each team's cap. There is little doubt that a player like Jimmy Conrad would help most clubs. However, is he worth $244,387.50 to teams? Even if he is it makes sense to wait and try and get him at a lower number.
    Between now and next Wednesday will be when the real affect of this new system will be felt. Players can talk to teams and work out contracts that make sense. With a fairly high pick, Toronto may yet land something out of this draft.
    Guest

    Halifax dips toe in water

    By Guest, in 24th Minute,

    Halifax regional councillors agreed to explore the possibility of submitting a bid to host games at the 2015 Women's World Cup yesterday.
    The decision came as a bit of a surprise as Events Nova Scotia submitted a report to Committee of the Whole advising that the city pass on the bid because of the tight time constraints. However, it was reported that several councillors said that the city needed to bid for fear that this will represent the last chance for Halifax to build a needed stadium.
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    Events Nova Scotia told council that it would cover the $25,000 non-refundable fee required to bid, which made the decision to move ahead easier.
    Yesterday I wrote about the reasons why a Women's World Cup in Canada without Halifax would be losing something. What's more important to Canadian soccer fans is what the possibility of a mid-size stadium in Halifax represents - somewhere for a pro soccer team to play.
    As much as I'd far rather see the WWC games in Halifax than Moncton I’m sure the New Brunswick city would do just fine if it hosts. It already has a stadium though. Halifax doesn't. It seems unlikely that the CSA would go into two locations in Atlantic Canada.
    That's why soccer fans should be cheering just a little for Hali.
    Guest
    Six years ago Hekari United FC was an amateur club in Papua New Guinea. Today, they are two wins away from playing a competitive fixture with Inter Milan.
    Inter Milan v Hekari United FC. Isn't this sport grand?
    Today is the start of the Club World Cup, a tournament that gets less respect than Mo Johnston at the Red Patch Boys Christmas party.
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    Yes, we get it. Europe and South America are far and away more powerful than the other confederations. It's understood that playing in the CWC is a burden to the big European clubs (the South Americans are game as it gives them a chance to measure up against the Euro sides). It's probably a money grab by FIFA.
    Yet, the CWC should matter. Here's why:
    One of the great things about football is the way it connects the whole world. Although it's not the most popular sport in all the world football is the most popular sport in the world and it's played in every corner of the world. To have a tournament that cements that by giving every club team in the world a chance, however remote, of earning a game with one of the big boys is worthwhile.
    It's also not too much to ask of the big clubs. Two games a year, only one against a minnow. It's not that taxing.
    The tournament will continue to struggle for attention until there is an upset. Actually, even after a non-Euro - South America final it will still not be considered a big deal until there is a third confederation that steps up and consistently challenges.
    But even if that day never comes it's still an event worth playing and watching.
    The teams:
    Inter Milan
    Internacional
    Hekari United FC
    Pachuca
    TP Mazembe Englebert (Congo DR)
    Seongnam Ilhwa Chunma (Republic of Korea)
    Al Wahda Sports Club (UAE)
    Guest
    Welcome to this week's edition of Don't Fight The Laws, in which I combine my years of being a referee with my years of being a smartass to provide my answers to your questions about the Laws of the Game, controversial decisions and other odds and ends relating to referees and what they do.
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    Got a question? Send it over to canadiansoccerguys@gmail.com. But for this week, we have the following...
    How do referees assess a hand ball foul? Do they really try to evaluate if it was or wasn't intentional? Do they become a little less severe when the hand ball is committed in the penalty area? What if a free kick is blocked by a wall and accidentally (touches) the arm protecting the chest or face of a man in the wall? Does the referee have to evaluate the situation or is it automatically called? -- Carl St-Gelais, Sept-Iles, Que.
    Whew, quite a bit here. First thing's first. A hand ball is a lot like pornography. (Write your own punchline here.) What I mean is, I can't describe it, but I know it when I see it. The Laws provide general guidelines, but each individual call is at the discretion of the referee, who takes all sorts of things into account when making a decision. It means there is always going to be some degree of inconsistency from one game to the next, but until a techie hermit living in a basement in Kuala Lumpur takes time off from making sex robots to invent a footie-reffing cyborg, it is what it is.
    But as to whether that judgment becomes more severe in the penalty area, Carl, the answer (officially) is no. There is nothing in the Laws stating that any foul is to be called any more or less harshly if committed in the penalty area than outside of it. But, of course, everyone pays more attention if a borderline hand ball results in a late-game penalty kick (see Wynne, Marvell circa 2009) than an aimless midfield free kick.
    And as for guys in the wall -- again, the rules are the same as anywhere else on the field (but, of course, the likelihood of the ball striking a player's arm is much greater if they're in a wall). The Liverpool-Tottenham game I hit on last week provides a good example. The arm went up, ostensibly in protection of the defender's face... but the contact occurred above the defender's head. I think the referee got it right, in that instance.
    The guidelines appended to Law 12 state that "(h)andling the ball involves a deliberate act of a player making contact with the ball with his hand or arm." Referees are further instructed to consider whether the arm actively moved towards the ball, and the distance between the ball and the player (did it strike him before he had time to move his arm away?) The Law further states "the position of the hand does not necessarily mean that there is an infringement".
    So where does this leave us? The same place we started. Refs will keep making decisions in this regard based on their subjective judgment, and the supporters will continue to bitch and moan if their team is penalized, while shrugging meekly and saying "hey, it goes both ways" if their team benefits... at least until the Malaysian sex-robot guy becomes a fan of soccer and does away with that bothersome "human element" of officiating.
    (On the subject of hand balls, someone ask me about the recent trend wherein refs dole out yellow cards for meaningless hand balls that occur at midfield. Please.)
    Can the ball be thrown into the net on a throw-in? Does it count as a goal if your own team does it? -- Some Unidentified Person
    Yes, presuming they have sufficient strength and aim, a professional footballer is physically capable of throwing the ball into the net on a throw-in. Next.
    Alright, fine. I presume you're asking about a situation like this infamous bumble:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLawwFbGWS0
    While the commentators wonder what the stewards were doing "to allow those idiots on the pitch", I wonder what the referee was doing to allow that goal to stand. While the Laws are often pretty ambiguous, Law 15 lays it out in black and white: "A goal cannot be scored directly from a throw-in."
    Perhaps the ref believed the 'keeper had made contact with the ball (though it doesn't look like it), which would make the goal legit. But either way, a throw-in is like an indirect free kick -- if it enters the opposing goal without touching a second player, there's no goal, and a goal kick is awarded. If it's your own net, the correct decision is a corner kick for the opposing side. (Remember, it just needs to touch that second player to be goal-ready, not be actively controlled.)
    But... there is a way to throw the ball into the net and be awarded a goal.
    If the goalkeeper controls a ball in play inside his/her own penalty area and -- through some nearly-impossible combination of superhuman strength, gale-force winds and utter indifference/incompetence by everyone else on the field -- manages to hurl it into the opposing net, the goal stands, even if it doesn't touch anyone on the way in.
    Of course, the soul-crushing own goal is a lot more likely:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQ7xTUpIqpg
    When is a free kick an indirect or direct free kick? I have never seen a non-direct free kick in professional soccer but it seems an oft-asked question of the ref in rec leagues. -- Some Unidentified Person
    I guarantee you've seen an indirect free kick in the pros, if you've ever seen a player called for offside. That's right, the ensuing free kick for the opposing team is an indirect one. But since the ball isn't anywhere near the opposing goal -- minimizing the chances of a shot on the opposing goal -- no one ever bothers to mention it (since it doesn't really matter). The way to tell is to glance at the ref: when the kick is indirect, he/she will hold his/her arm straight up when the kick is taken, and lower it once the ball touches a second player.
    Beyond that, an indirect free kick is given for dangerous play (a.k.a. "high foot"), impeding the progress of an opponent (i.e. obstruction off the ball) or preventing the opposing keeper from releasing the ball. A goalkeeper can also be punished with an IFK for handling a passback or wasting time. And the indirect free kick is also a fallback option for the ref if someone's punished with a card for some bizarre situation that isn't covered in the rules.
    Despite the fact that every single free kick I've ever awarded in youth soccer has resulted in multiple kids asking "Is it one touch or two?", the truth is, the difference is negligible in pro soccer. On the few occasions when the difference does matter, we get ridiculous looking situations like this (skip ahead to 1:15):


    And if the Lithuanian national team can figure out how to circumvent the constraints of the indirect free kick, then perhaps the rule is about as useful as the condoms in the Malaysian sex-robot guy's wallet.
    (Oh, and to save you the effort of googling it, Lithuania is currently 39 places ahead of us in the FIFA rankings. Sigh.)
    That's it for this week. Send me an email at canadiansoccerguys@gmail.com, and your query may turn up in the next edition of Don't Fight The Laws.
    Guest
    It's easy to be a cynic. Life serves up plenty of examples of how life is unfair to underline a negative worldview.
    Put into a football perspective a cynic might hold onto the belief that nothing can be done to prevent corruption in the administration of the game. If the awarding of the World Cup to Qatar and Russia seems a bit off, well, probably it is.
    That sucks, but, well, you know...meh. It is what it is, nothing you can do about it, might as well just try and enjoy the game.
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    It's like when you interview for a really great job, but you tell everyone around you that you don't have a chance. Eventually you convince yourself as well. Expecting the worst possible outcome protects you emotionally when and if it comes.
    A psychologist would call it self-handicapping. She would also call it unhealthy. As football fans we do a lot of self-handicapping when it comes to allegations of corruption in FIFA. We look at guys like Andrew Jennings and Declan Hill and we shake our heads -- why do they bother, we wonder. What's the point?
    Those of us of a certain age will remember the Atlas "man out of Mac" ads that used to appear in the back of our comic books. Mac, a skinny little fellow, had sand kicked in his face by the big bully of a jock. Making things worse was Mac had his pretty girlfriend on his arm when the bully took his manliness away.
    So off Mac went (using Atlas product, of course) and spent significant time in the gym. By the time he ran into the bully again Mac had bulked up to the point that he could beat the living crap out of him.
    Today I'm sure that the advertising in the back of comic books contains PSAs about anti-bullying programs and that Mac would be suspected of buying some PEDs from that sketchy guy that hangs out at the back of the gym, but I digress.
    There comes a time when it's clear that cynicism is no longer the road to take and that you need to go all Mac on the bully’s ass.
    The tipping point is often an extreme moment of humiliation and disrespect. You don't need to think about it either. You just know.
    We've reached our Mac point with FIFA. The noise coming out of some of the bigger federations is consistent: it's time to put a stop to this. There are even whispers of a rival organization starting that features the biggest countries (which, beyond being used for leverage, is not a welcome idea -- I don't want the World Cup closed to anyone).
    Hell, Switzerland -- SWITZERLAND! -- has said that it's not putting up with it anymore. It launched an anti-corruption investigation yesterday into all sport originations (most of the biggies are in Switzerland). I'm sure that the IOC is about ready to go Mac of Sepp's ass right now too as they are going to be investigated by the Swiss as well.
    Sure people have talked about cleaning international football up in the past. This seems different though. It took the twin tragedies of Hillsborough and Heysel for people to get serious about making necessary changes in stadiums and crowd control.
    We should be careful when we talk about those incidents to not forget that lives were lost -- awarding a World Cup to Qatar is hardly on the same level -- but last week's decision by FIFA could end up being a similar impetus to change that those two disasters were.
    This is not a time for cynicism. It's a time for hope -- people finally seem serious about cleaning the administration of the game up.
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