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    Guest
    Some people will do anything for publicity.
    It's the times we live in, where news travels literally at the speed of light, and everyone is looking for an edge. This doesn't exclude the traditional media, who have had to accept new media - particularly social networking like Twitter and Facebook - as a means to remain competitive with and as relevant as the TMZ's, Huffington Posts and (ahem) Canadian Soccer News' out there.
    So it's no surprise, then, that some members of the "traditional" media have succumbed to the unfortunate side effect of today's fact-paced information age of over-hyping "nothing" stories in order to gain an audience.
    Today gave us no greater example of this phenomenon, via The Guardian sports editor Ian Prior, who tweeted around 10:30am (EST) that his paper would be posting a huge transfer exclusive on its website around four hours later.
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    This naturally set Twitter alight with speculation, as surely a reputable source such as The Guardian wouldn't resort to cheap parlour tricks just to gain more hits, right?Prior even emphasized the gravity of his paper's scoop by adding "boy do I mean it" to his teaser tweet, showing the football world that the impending story was serious business.
    Twitter users - as they are wont to do - took the teaser and ran with it, spawning the hashtag #guardianexclusive to amalgamate all of the possible stories that Prior's original post could be referring to, both realistic and absurd. But even the most cynical person couldn't have imagined just how much of a non-story Prior's super-duper exclusive would be.
    Shortly after 5:30pm GMT, Guardian reporter David Hynter relayed to the awaiting football world that Inter Milan would be (possibly) bidding for Tottenham starlet Gareth Bale, in the amount of £40 million.
    In six months' time.
    Maybe.
    Prior immediately got heat from Twitter users the world over, frustrated by the hyperbole over a complete non-issue from the self-professed "largest English language paper on the web apart from The New York Times."
    Unfortunately, this sort of thing will happen more often as sources for news become more fractured, and the need to get noticed becomes more of a factor.

    Some other transfer talk from around Europe Thursday:
    England

    Blackpool sign left back Salaheddine Sbai on loan.
    Fulham losing hope over deal for Shaun Wright-Phillips.
    Swindon's Jean-Francois Lescinel linked to Swansea City.
    Carlisle sign Manchester United defender Joe Dudgeon.
    Ipswich Town sign Hull City midfielder Jimmy Bullard.
    Aston Villa and Birmingham City in talks over Curtis Davies-Sebastian Larsson swap.
    Sulley Muntari arrives in Sunderland for talks over loan move.
    Ipswich Town close in on Charlie Austin deal.
    Benfica confirm Chelsea offer for David Luiz.

    France

    Monaco agrees to sign Mahmadou Diarra from Real Madrid.

    Italy

    Inter Milan to sign Giampaolo Pazzini from Sampdoria.
    Mauro Camoranesi move to AS Roma is possible.
    Juventus signs defender Andrea Barzagli from Wolfsburg.

    Ukraine

    Croatia defender Ivan Strinic leaves Hajduk Split for Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk.

    Germany

    Srdjan Lakic agrees to join Wolfsburg.

    Scotland

    Derby accept Celtic bid for Kris Commons after Rangers pull out.

    Guest

    Windsor joins CSL

    By Guest, in It's Called Football,

    The Canadian Soccer League announced yesterday that it had awarded an expansion franchise to Windsor restaurateur Filip Rocca.
    The club will play out of a new facility being constructed at McHugh Park and will participate in the 2011 season, which starts in May.
    Rocca was a member of the Windsor Border Stars, a team that saw limited action in the CSL and eventually folded from weak local support in 2008. During his time there Rocca won two defender of the year awards.
    Windsor joins the Mississauga Eagles, Kitchener-Waterloo United FC, Ottawa and Pickering Power as new teams entering the CSL in 2011.
    And while it hasn't been officially announced, it's widely known the CSL will be divided into East/West divisions for 2011. Four teams will advance from each division for the Ginova Cup Playoffs.
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    Expansion news is always nice but perhaps the most interesting tidbid to come out of yesterday's announcement was the revelation of exactly how much expansion fees are.
    Rocca will pay the CSL $30,000 to secure a franchise. $20,000 of that is annual dues, the other $10,000 is for administrative fees. For as closely as we worked with the CSL last year, they would never give us a clear indication of how much a team was worth. So, there you have it - $30,000 can get you an expansion franchise in the CSL.
    The question now becomes, with a player pool that is only so deep, has Ontario reached its cap for expansion? Or is there still room for more without sacrificing the quality of play?
    Guest
    Last Monday morning, I was interviewed on CBC Edmonton, explaining the national implications of the Alberta soccer fight.
    The next day -- I just found out -- the CBC actually coaxed a brief response out of ousted ASA first vice-president Mario Charpentier.
    It's here (and I'm sorry you have to sit through a 30-second ad first.)
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    Bonus points if you can -- in any way -- hook Charpentier's words back to the main debate.
    Up next -- I'm putting together a short interview with British Columbia Soccer Association president Charlie Cuzzetto, on how his province plans to vote when the fate of CSA governance is settled a week Saturday.
    Onward!
    Guest
    Three players likely to figure up front for Canada against Greece in two weeks - Atiba Hutchinson, Josh Simpson and Olivier Occean - scored over the weekend. Like Long Balls reminiscing over its spotty dating record during university, it's difficult to recall a weekend with this much scoring action by Canadians abroad.
    Hell, if you add in Canada-maybe David Hoilett's zinger against West Brom, Tomasz Radzinski's mid-week marker in the Belgian Cup, Daniel Imhof's goal in a friendly against LASK Linz and Hutchinson's converted spot kick in a penalties-loss to Twente in the Dutch Cup you're one short of Andriy Shevchenko's tally for his entire last season with Chelsea, and his transfer fee was almost three times the CSA's annual budget.
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    But back to those first three names. How does Occean as the target between Simpson and, say, Will Johnson, supported by Hutchinson in an attacking midfield role sound? Of course there's a real possibility none of those players will score in the two weekends leading up to the February 9 friendly in Greece, but forwards who are playing and scoring should come as welcome news for Canadian manager Stephen Hart.
    Simpson now has 11 goals in all competitions with Manisaspor in the Turkish top flight, while Occean has 10 goals for Kickers Offenbach in the German 3rd flight.
    Of those other scorers mentioned, most intriguing is whether we'll see Tomasz Radzinski for the Greece game. Yes, he's 37 years old, and yes, everyone thinks he has retired internationally, but Stephen Hart told the CBC this week that he'll continue to pick players if he thinks they can contribute. I'd say eight goals in all competitions this season with a first division Belgian club signals an ability to contribute.
    It's extremely unlikely we'll see Daniel Imhof and we definitely won't see Junior Hoilett. On the subject of Junior Hoilett, Some Canadian Guys noted his cracker of a goal as it happened this weekend, and took some flak in the comments section for focusing on a player who has yet to commit to Canada over other players who have. If it makes those readers feel better, Long Balls has decided that that Hoilett's marker was actually fairly run-of-the-mill, goal-of-the-week variety, and that it won't feature in anyone's goals-of-the-season list.
    In other Concacaf goings ons, a Long Balls suggestion for aforementioned Tomasz Radzinski. If he intend to further refine his reputation as a budding training ground brawler, who better to size up next than newly minted teammate, Honduran international “Muma” Bernárdez. Muma was loaned to Lierse this week after failing to catch on with Anderlecht.
    And speaking of Hondurans, a bit of unsettling news. MirrorFootball has reported that Man United have lined up Celtic wingback and Honduran international Emilio Izaguirre as a possible replacement for Patrice Evra should he leave this summer. Yes, Canada could battle for a 2014 World Cup berth with a Honduran side featuring four Premier League regulars (Wilson Palacios, Hendry Thomas and Maynor Figueroa too). Wouldn't everyone just love that?
    Edit: This article originally said PSV beat Twente in the Dutch Cup. They in fact lost.
    Guest
    Whitecaps have finally announced their official beer sponsor for their first season in MLS. It doesn't come as a great surprise that they were in need of a new, bigger named partner. Last year The 'Caps were sponsored by Pacific Pilsner (Western Pacific Brewing Co.). They were a great sponsor, but there wasn't a chance in hell they were going to be able to put forth the advertising dollars, and generate the revenues that Budweiser will. The union with Budweiser begins immediately, and will last 5 years. While the deal is with "The Club" it will not crossover to the youth and USL Player Development League teams for obvious reasons. However there will be the opportunity for the deal to include the women's team.[PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    This move is a big score for local pubs and bars who should now have an incentive to run promotions on game nights and during televised away matches when they are trying to draw fans in to have a cold one (or 8). Budweiser is one of the top selling beers in the province so it is a pretty win win deal as most bars sell it already and its instantly recognizable as a brand. They were major sponsors at the last World Cup and tend to invest heavily in sporting ventures. I'm not going to bother getting too in depth about the business end on this deal I'll just say it makes sense.
    Apparently "The Legend" Sam Lenarduzzi worked for Labatts for 20 years!
    The real big news came from the individual discussions held with Whitecaps C.E.O. Paul Barber and Howard Crossley; the General Manager at BC Place Stadium.
    Paul Barber drew the usual suspects from the group and really didn't hold back on a lot of big questions.
    He spoke briefly on a couple topics we've posted about and questioned here on CSN.
    The League is going over who will be the National Broadcaster for The 'Caps, and the club is going over the details on deals with a regional T.V. and radio broadcast rights holders will be. All games, home and away are expected to be televised. The television rights holders have been decided on, but have not been announced yet.
    The Training Facility is still being worked on, "There is still a ways to go". They have a grass field that visiting clubs will be able to train on but again would not be announced immediately. Proximity to the airport, BC Place and Empire, were all points he brought up and as he put it "too many hills and too much water" are the biggest logistical issues in the search for a permanent training location.
    The league still has not released a finalized schedule to the clubs by all accounts. Apparently there is a MLS rule where by which clubs cannot play two home games to end the season. So a home game heavy back end on the schedule is unlikely.
    Howard Crossley said that he didn't have any details on Canada's bid for the 2015 Women's World Cup and had no information on whether part of Vancouver's bid has anything to do with the installation of real grass or not. They would be able to put grass in very much in the same way as Seattle did for the recent visit from Manchester United. With that being said the stadium is equipped with FIFA Approved Level 2 Turf. The 'Caps are locked in with BC Place for a Five Year contract with an option to sign for more.
    The folks at BC Place are trying to get as many games in for the Whitecaps at BC place as possible. The masts were expected to be up by January 1st but the last two did not go up until January 10th. While it would appear to most as a sign of the construction being behind schedule there are a lot more items being worked on then that one portion, and being a little behind schedule should not set the whole project back. Remember, the roof is only a small part of what is going on over at B.C. Place, as Crossley said in his address, it's basically only the foundation of the old stadium that will remain when it re-opens.
    With concerns to Naming Rights, Howard said that they have got it down to two really solid prospects. They expect to have a new name on the building before it is re-opened. I have spoken to Howard on a previous occasion and he told me that stadium's naming rights and the sale of those rights were always a part of the reconstruction deal, and was stipulated in the loan given to them by the Provincial Government. The sale of the stadium's naming rights will go directly into the repayment of that loan. Often times when people look at the half billion dollar cost of this construction project they fail to realize that this is being paid for by the sale of the CP Rail Land, and in actual fact a loan, that will be repaid. The money given to them by the Government often sparks outrage from locals who do not understand that this is not simply the Province footing the bill. I will go in to more detail about the deal with the stadium at another time but for now lets all enjoy a nice cold Bud.
    Scroll way down for the promised Bud Girls. I get that it is a lowest common denominator sorta thing but the picture turned out nicely...

    All Photo Credits for this piece go to Ian Azariah
    Guest
    Today, we're joined by FC Edmonton owner Tom Fath to discuss NASL sanctioning, how the season is shaping up for the club and what's in their future plans.
    We'll also get into the events from TFC media day - including DeRo's comments, what actually happened with Andrew Ornoch, the Canadian kit reaction and if Canadian Club Academies should make participation contingent on capping with our country.
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
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    Guest
    "The Big News" out of today's training session was Ethan Gage's appearance early in practice. He's been home for 2 days after a trial at Reading FC in England where he'd been getting a look as a central midfielder. He didn't really receive any feedback from the club, everything is being discussed between his agent and the club. He was supposed to attend Reading's home fixture against West Bromwich Albion, however the delay of his flight meant that he didn't get over to the U.K. until 6 hours after his original arrival time.
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    Gage was at the practice but did not participate, he just strolled in with a member of the club early on in his street clothes, then he hung out by the gate out of most peoples view. He was not training with the club today and it does not sound like he will be training with the club in the near future, although he would gladly be welcomed back by the organization.
    While the Whitecaps do hold the rights to Canadian Soccer Association's 2010 Under 20 Male Player of the Year, he is currently without a contract, so he would be leaving town on a free transfer, if he were to sign with the club he would be a homegrown player. If signed in Europe and wished to come back at a later date the club would still hold his rights.
    For the first time all week (while I have been there at least) the boys in blue and white finally got down to some technical training. Otherwise it was just a pretty standard early season training session. Morfaw, Nanchoff, DeMerit, and Thorrington did not participate in the full speed training drills. Joe Cannon got a little more involved in the goaltending activities being conducted at the North end of the pitch. The weather finally co-operated with the club and it was actually a good day to train on. I am sure the recent signings finally got a chance to appreciate the venue that they were at.

    As a last note, many people have noticed that Cody Arnoux is not training with the first team. The official word is that he is signed to the PDL team and will resume training with them as soon as he returns from rehabilitating his injury he sustained during last years playoff run. Currently though he is not back training with the PDL team.
    Guest
    Men's national team head coach Stephen Hart told the CBC's John Molinaro the other day that when it comes to building the squad, "you just have to keep trying people." We saw plenty of new faces suit up for Canada in 2010, and in the first game of 2011, Hart's going to try yet another new addition: 23-year-old striker Tosaint Ricketts (source).
    Currently plying his trade in the Romanian first division for FC Politehnica Timişoara, the Edmonton-born Ricketts has seven goals in 13 appearances for Canada's youth sides, including a hat trick against the USA while with the U20s. He also scored a brace in this year's Europa League while a member of Finnish club MyPa (coincidentally enough, in a game against Timişoara):

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVc63HUCmik
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    Hart has had some luck unearthing hidden gems thus far: Terry Dunfield pretty much got a second lease on his career after being brought back into the national team setup in 2010, and relative unknowns such as Pedro Pacheco (who's also gotten the call for Feb. 9 - thanks Jono) and Milan Borjan (who'll also make his first appearance for the CanMNT) have made positive impressions on supporters of the national team.
    Ricketts, via Twitter, expressed his hope that he'll follow suit: "I hope it will be a good first appearance with the MNT".
    We're all hoping the same thing.
    (Oh, and for what it's worth, Tosaint uses Twitter much more judiciously than another footballer named Ricketts).
    Guest

    The DeRo Saga: New Moon

    By Guest, in 24th Minute,

    Toronto FC continued their preseason proceedings today with their annual media day, a chance for the local newsies to familiarize themselves with the players and the new coaching staff.
    As is usual with these types of things, clichés and non-answers ruled the day, with tried and true platitudes like "give 110%" and "we're looking for the right people" being thrown about willy-nilly.
    Then Dwayne De Rosario stepped up to the mic.
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    TFC is nothing if not very self-aware, and the PR side of the club has a knack for the dramatic. Thus, De Rosario was scheduled to be the last to address the assembled scribes, creating a mini-crescendo of anticipation as so many obvious questions needed answers.
    To DeRo's credit, he began by side-stepping many of the surprisingly direct questions thrown at him, clearly looking to continue the established protocol of the day and be as non-controversial (and really, non-interesting) as those who preceded him.
    It was working for a while, until an unidentified reporter (rumoured to be Paul Attfield from The Globe & Mail) pushed the Celtic loan saga again, eliciting a rather snide response from the TFC captain.
    "If (the) New York Times asked you to write for their paper," he snapped at the reporter, "would you go?"
    De Rosario continued on with the presser as if everything was normal, but it was obvious that he had grown tired of people questioning his off-season exploits; his body language and tone for the remainder of the gathering saying much more than his words were.
    Not that it mattered much, as he didn't wait long to reveal what was really on his mind.
    In the scrum following the scheduled conference, De Rosario hinted at sitting out if he couldn't negotiate a new contract with the club, stating that there was "too much risk" in playing out his option years.
    To De Rosario, it's an issue of both more money, and increased security should he become injured.
    “It’s not what I want, it’s what I think I deserve,” he told reporters, referring to a designated player contract.
    Ok, then.
    Just when you thought it was safe to wade back into the waters of pre-season excitement, the DeRo Saga rears its ugly head at literally the first possible opportunity.
    Last month, I wrote a piece on why it was time for De Rosario and TFC to part ways. Since then, his Celtic trial - and it was a trial, despite what you may hear otherwise - has come and gone without much being said by either the player or club (other than DeRo making sure everyone knew that it was Toronto FC that had denied a loan to the Scottish giant).
    We'd heard reports that new Toronto second-in-command Paul Mariner was mending fences with the estranged star, which - when coupled with all the exciting developments coming down the pipeline with the new regime - brought about a renewed sense of optimism that perhaps I was being too hasty in suggesting that the relationship between DeRo and TFC was beyond repair.
    And while I may still be proven to have been too hasty in that regard, it's become crystal clear that all is still not well in TFC Land when it comes to their captain.
    Tomorrow, the entire team gets on an airplane destined for the heavenly environs of Antalya, Turkey, where they will train in exclusivity for two weeks. Seems like a perfect environment for the new bosses and their extremely talented, yet increasingly disgruntled, captain to hash things out, doesn't it?
    If they return to North America with this issue still hanging over their heads, it could be a very long season for TFC and its supporters.
    Again.

    Full Dwayne De Rosario press conference:
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    Guest
    L'organisation de l'Impact a confirmé aujourd'hui le nom des trois équipes qu'elle affrontera lors de son camp de préparation au Complexe Grande Sports World en Arizona.
    Le 23 février, l'Impact jouera contre un ancien rival de la NASL, le Portland Timbers.
    Puis, le 26, ce sera au tour du Sporting Kansas City. Le 2 mars, l'Impact affrontera le FC Dallas, finaliste de la MLS Cup 2010.
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    Initialement, les rumeurs semblaient indiquer que le club montréalais allait jouer contre le LA Galaxy de Landon Donovan et de David Beckham, mais ce n'est visiblement plus le cas.
    Je préfère quand même que l'Impact joue contre des équipes nord-américaines que des clubs de 2e et 3e division portugaise...
    L'Impact amorcera son camp d'entraînement le 3 février au Complexe Bell de Brossard. Son premier match aura lieu le 9 avril contre le FC Tampa Bay.
    Guest
    Normally I'd use this space to answer reader-submitted questions about refereeing decisions and the Laws of the Game. I invite you to submit your own questions (leave a comment, or send an email to canadiansoccerguys@gmail.com) for future editions. But for this week, it behooves me to touch on the latest brouhaha to embroil close followers of the beautiful game.
    In case you're unfamiliar with the situation, Sky Sports commentators Andy Gray (well, now a former commentator) and Richard Keys were caught in a misogynistic little exchange in reference to 25-year-old assistant referee Sian Massey (video below). Gray's firing, for what it's worth, was not entirely based on those comments; it evidently had something to with another bit of
    .But Gray and Keys, in their own neanderthalic way, raise a valuable question: Do women understand the offside rule?
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]


    I'm going to answer my own question with another question: Do men understand the offside rule?
    A video by Emine Saner of The Guardian, in which she asks random men on the street if they can explain the rule, seems to suggest that they don't. (Though, in a discouraging bit of irony, one fellow decides his best shot at explaining the rule is with the following example: "Not in a sexist way, but say you was in the shop buying a handbag..." Sigh.)
    But here's the best question of all: Do Andy Gray or Richard Keys understand the offside rule?
    My guess, based on the vast majority of on-air commentators I've listened to: Not a fucking chance.
    I don't get it, really. Do Gray and Keys think Sian Massey just materialized from thin air on the sideline of a Premiership match? Whatever other problems the English F.A. may have, I'm going to have to assume that anyone entrusted with officiating a match at the highest level has probably undergone pretty thorough training which -- and I'm assuming, once again -- must include a pretty thorough reading of Law 11.
    Now, this incident has little to do with the offside rule per se, and nearly everything to do with misogynistic attitudes that are anachronistically entrenched in the operational strata of sports, at all levels.
    While being purposefully vague so as to protect those involved, suffice to say that in my time as a referee, I have encountered more incidents than I'd like to recall in which coaches or parents treated female referees (many of whom were mere teenagers) in a manner that I don't believe they'd have treated a male official. I say this with confidence considering that, on multiple occasions, my mere arrival on the scene has served to very quickly placate the plaintiffs.
    It's the pathetic, cowardly behaviour and attitude of a classic bully -- and it has no place in sports at any level, whether the participants are toddlers or highly-paid pros.
    I will admit that there are potential problems endemic to the assignment of a female referee to a game featuring male players.
    There is no value judgment attached to the empirically-proven statement that men and women are biologically different. So, if one was predisposed to do so, one could argue that a female referee's cardiovascular conditioning could become an issue. The simple refutation is as follows: All governing bodies in soccer compel referees to undergo yearly fitness assessments in order to maintain certification at certain levels. So that's that.
    There's also the concern about whether a female referee has the proper "man management" skills, if you'll forgive the expression. Yet I could, and probably will, write a column about how very few male referees appear to have exemplary "man management" skills these days, considering the preponderance of yelling-in-the-ref's-face sessions that go unpunished.
    The average soccer player, from my experience, is willing to treat the referee with respect if they believe the ref is knowledgeable, fair and open to treating the players with similar respect. Referees of both genders are capable of possessing (or not possessing) these particular qualities; and if an individual player holds sexist beliefs that prohibit them from looking past a referee's body parts, then chances are, said player is a mentally stunted troglodyte who's likely to get sent off for something-or-other anyway, no matter who the official is.
    Remember, Carol Anne Chenard has been in the middle of multiple Voyageurs Cup games over the past few years (including the final match of 2009, the infamous "Miracle in Montreal") without significant incident that I can call to mind. I can only imagine we'll be seeing her again during this year's Canadian championships... and I would hope that her presence will be as unremarkable as that of any other official (since, as is often said, a referee is doing their job most effectively when you hardly notice that they're there).
    So... does Gray's firing ultimately change anything?
    Not really. While his one bit of supposedly-off-air jocularity got the most play, it is undoubtedly not an isolated incident. He has almost certainly held those beliefs for a long time, and will continue to do so. Similarly, there are unquestionably plenty of other knuckle-draggers ensconced in world soccer -- hell, Sepp Blatter himself once idiotically suggested that female players wear tighter shorts to help increase the sport's popularity.
    What seems second nature to Gray and his ilk -- prejudging another person's capabilities at a given task based on an intrinsic characteristic such as gender -- is, I'd think, anathema to those of us in a younger generation. So attitudinal adjustments within soccer will, much like many things, just take time.
    If you're keeping track, though, all reports I've heard about the game in which Massey was AR suggest her calls were generally spot-on... including those tricky offside calls.
    That's it for this week. Send your questions to canadiansoccerguys@gmail.com, and your query may turn up in the next edition of Don't Fight The Laws.
    Guest
    Not much change from yesterday. Far less media attention though. The Whitecaps did however announce that they will be adding 2 games against the L.A. Galaxy (February 20th and 22nd) to their preseason schedule as they prepare for the home opener against TFC on Saturday March 19. This will give The 'Caps a total of 7 preseason matches south of the boarder (specifically in Arizona and then the Cascadia Summit in Washington).
    The Blue and White had a later start yesterday as the team was completing "The Cooper Test" which involves running around a 400m track as many times as possible in 12 minutes. Shea Salinas and Bilal Duckett had the top two scores. Salinas (9 laps completed) finished a mere 10 metres ahead of the rookie Duckett.
    Today Vancouver are back to an early start with a 10am training session, which I will once again be watching very closely, counting push ups and measuring ball speed with my radar gun.
    Look out for a big announcement from the club a little later this afternoon with regards to Labatts brewery.
    Guest
    Goals in soccer are exciting. They're more rare and important than tallies in most other sports, and are often the final release of long periods of sustained pressure. Grant likes to use the orgasm analogy to explain why fans and players often celebrate with such explosive excitement. I'm not really comfortable with that, if only because I watch soccer with Grant fairly frequently, and it makes me feel as if I need to edge away from him slightly every time Chelsea scores.
    But there are limits to how over-the-top a player is allowed to get when he scores. Some of those limits, I have to say, make no sense.
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    Here's what the FIFA Laws of the Game have to say about it:

    While it is permissible for a player to demonstrate his joy when a goal has been
    scored, the celebration must not be excessive.
    Reasonable celebrations are allowed, but the practice of choreographed
    celebrations is not to be encouraged when it results in excessive time-wasting
    and referees are instructed to intervene in such cases.
    A player must be cautioned if:
    • in the opinion of the referee, he makes gestures which are provocative,
    derisory or inflammatory
    • he climbs on to a perimeter fence to celebrate a goal being scored
    • he removes his shirt or covers his head with his shirt
    • he covers his head or face with a mask or other similar item
    Leaving the field of play to celebrate a goal is not a cautionable offence in itself
    but it is essential that players return to the field of play as soon as possible.
    Referees are expected to act in a preventative manner and to exercise common
    sense in dealing with the celebration of a goal.
    But does Lionel Messi really deserve to be fined for wishing his mom a happy birthday? Is anyone offended by that? I realize that it's a slippery slope, the whole message on the shirt thing. Kaka took things too far with his Jesus-lovin' undershirt at Milan – religion has no place in football, in my opinion – but surely no one's going to be offended by little Lionel's happy birthday message to his mom. Seriously. If the Spanish FA wants this thing nipped in the bud, just pressure the clubs to prevent their players from doing in the first place, and judge any case that does come up on its own merits. That means vigorously stamping out anything that's actually offensive, as much as it means not coming across as draconian mother-haters every time someone says "Hi Mom!" on TV. (And I'm not just saying that because Cesc Fabregas did the same thing earlier this season.)
    The shirt-removal thing is a bit of a mystery to me, as well. What's the harm in a player taking his shirt off, apart from the obvious "Dude, c'mon man" reaction sane people have whenever any guy takes his shirt off in public for no real reason. No one's getting hurt – unless FIFA is afraid the man's nipples might get chafed if he ends the celebration with a chest-slide on the grass. It's not really offensive to anyone. And it opens up the possibility of hilarious embarrassment if the player throws the shirt away and can't find it afterwards, which would make him look like an idiot, and we'd all secretly love that.
    Worse still, is the shirt-over-the-head rule. Is FIFA afraid the guy might run into something? Surely taking his shirt clean off would be safer, wouldn't it? I'm just not getting what the problem is. I can't say I even understand the nudist inclination that even brought this issue about – I didn't play soccer as a kid, but any sporting success I have had wasn't immediately followed by a natural desire to disrobe.
    There is one obvious-but-a-bit-out-there explanation: Is this just cow-towing to shirt sponsors? They pay bajillions to have their name on a player's chest, and they'd want to make sure that after a goal – when all the attention is on "their" player – they want their logo to be clearly seen and (in some insidious, advertise-y way) associated with the joy that goal brought. FIFA does like money, so the conspiracy theorist in me says yes, even if it seems a touch ridiculous.
    What really boggles the mind, then, is that while tucking your shirt up over your head is a clear no-no, those absurd choreographed celebrations are allowed, if tacitly so. Apart from often being just stupid, these celebrations can genuinely be offensive to opposing players and fans, I'd argue, because of the arrogant, mocking overtones. Watching your team get scored against is frustrating for a fan, especially if it's a big goal, and for that to be followed by a protracted dance routine,
    or short, violent off-broadway play is rubbing salt in a bit. It's the kind of thing that could be fairly reasonably considered provocation to the fans. It's not that I don't enjoy them, or I think they should be banned – they're fun, sure, and they can be quite clever. I just think they're certainly more provocative than pulling your shirt over your head. I think the rule here is right – let the ref decide if these celebrations have gone on too long or are offensive or what have you – which highlights how over-the-top some of the other rules are. Some goal celebrations, of course, are inherently bad for the game. I may be biased, but for me Adebayor's celebration for Man City against Arsenal last year falls squarely into that category. Sure it was crappy because he scored and Arsenal lost, but even a neutral observer can't deny that running the length of the field to purposefully antagonize thousands of angrily enlivened people is a dangerous thing. I think the Eastlands steward whose arm was broken as he fell the ensuing melee can attest to that. Adebayor was rightly carded and fined. Job well done by the ref and the FA, with the specific punishment fitting the specific crime.
    <embed src="http://www.4shared.com/embed/132222302/abc7470c" width="420" height="320" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" />
    But Adebayor's provocation is a far cry from, say, Frederick Piquionne's celebration last weekend for West Ham away at Everton. Piquionne certainly contravened the laws of the game when he leaped over the advertising hoardings and jumped into the travelling fans' arms after scoring. He certainly ran afoul of the spirit of the "climbs on to a perimeter fence to celebrate a goal being scored," and the letter of the law says he gets a yellow card for that. And, since he was already on a yellow, he gets a red and is off. All fit and proper under the rules.
    But the rules are dumb, in this case. FIFA likes to talk about soccer being joyful, so why cap that joy? Who's being hurt by a player celebrating with his own fans? The fans love it, the player isn't likely to get hurt – at least he's not any more so than in a ten-man on-pitch dogpile with his own teammates – and it isn't offensive to the opposing team or its fans. So what's the harm?
    Not exactly known for his eloquence, West Ham manager Avram Grant hit the nail on the head after that game, which ended in a 2-2 draw. "Next time I will tell my players to go to a funeral when they score," Grant said. "[Piquionne] scored a goal and went to celebrate with the supporters. He has not done anything wrong – he went to celebrate with the people who deserve to more than anybody... I know it is the law but it is a stupid law and we need to change it."
    In the end, the most telling bit of the laws on celebrations is the end: "Referees are expected to act in a preventative manner and to exercise common sense in dealing with the celebration of a goal." But how much common sense do they actually have the freedom to exercise is debatable; how much common sense was applied in drafting the rules themselves is, too.


    Guest

    The shifting shape of reform

    By Guest, in Onward Soccer,

    As we head down the stretch, and the CSA reform finish line looms:
    As near as anyone’s been able to tell me, the provinces of Quebec and Alberta – between them – have enough votes to scuttle any Canadian Soccer Association reform package currently on the table.
    Each province’s voting weight is based on its percentage of registered soccer players. No single province – Ontario, for example – is allowed to cast more than a quarter of the votes.
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    The three reform models (the original, the compromise, and the wait-a-year-and-compromise) will all be voted on at the CSA’s February 5 AGM. A two-thirds majority is needed. Quebec and Alberta, together, hold just over a third.
    Quebec, we know, opposes the original framework. This is the one that removes all presidential and territorial soccer association presidents from the CSA board. At this late date, there appears zero, nil, nada, bupkis, bye-bye chance Le Belle Province’s position here will change.
    But before everyone leaps up as one, points at Alberta, and says Alberta’s voting against; Alberta’s going to kill it; the whole mess in Alberta cost us governance reform; let me assure you that several other provinces are also wavering in their support of the original plan.
    All that happened, last spring, was that a simple majority of provinces voted to tentatively adopt the framework, keeping it alive for further study – and negotiation.
    At that point – and we’re technically not supposed to know this, because it’s a secret – Alberta And Quebec voted nay. Manitoba, I’ve since been told, abstained.
    Negotiation is, in fact, what followed. Just before the new year – again, in secret – the compromise governance model was born. This is very similar to the original. Both plans shrink the CSA board dramatically, and call for six regional reps instead of twelve provincial presidents. The main difference? In compromise mode, as many as three of those regional reps can also be association presidents.
    I think enough’s been written about serving two masters, constitutional conflict-of-interest and the bad old Good Old Boys’ network. If you’re a neutral soccer fan, there’s no question – I hope – that the first model is preferable.
    To get it, though, we essentially need every province except Quebec (who won’t) to approve. There seems very little chance Alberta will be represented by a reformer. Legal president Chris Billings is still under suspension from both the ASA and CSA. It will take a court-appointed miracle to get him a vote, and going to court is why the CSA suspended him in the first place.
    I’m still not 100-per-cent convinced the Quebec-Alberta firewall is going to kill the original deal. I’m certainly going to put some honest energy into trying to head that off. But if the total-reform deal does crash, it’s absolutely imperative that the compromise deal succeeds.
    Quebec and Alberta both liked this model just before Christmas. Ontario is adamantly opposed, but doesn’t have enough votes, on its own, to knock it out of the sky.
    And here’s where it gets dangerous.
    If the compromise fails, plan C is identical, but with a 2012 implementation date. And no one ever got anywhere predicting what will happen a year from now in the Canadian Soccer Association.
    One thing we don’t have to worry about is members of the CSA executive committee voting for, against, or at all. President Dominique Maestracci – whose involvement in the Alberta mess requires investigation, and will get it here if it doesn’t get it there – does not have a vote. He certainly has influence, though.
    Let’s say Quebec is happy with the compromise, and Ontario sticks to its anti-compromise guns.
    Again, Alberta becomes crucial.
    There are certainly CSA executives who don’t want this to pass. The reeking wildcard is how much influence those directors have over whomever actually ends up being seated for Alberta. And both parts of that are far from clear as I write this.
    The good news? The idea that pro-reform Ontario and anti-reform Alberta could actually team up to kill the compromise seems too ludicrous to even consider. At that point, many informed folks hope and believe Ontario will realize most is better than none, and sail the compromise plan safely into port.
    Except, of course, OSA president Ron Smale has told me – to my face and on-camera – that he won’t.
    So, once again, we actually don’t know anything.
    Deep breath.
    The compromise plan, dear fellow folks, wouldn’t be bad at all. Canada’s national soccer teams are still hugely funded by money from grassroots player registrations, and even I – however reluctantly – can understand how the provinces might want to keep an eye on that.
    I desperately want amateurs with differing agendas gone from the CSA board. But under the compromise, they’ll never have more than less-than-a-quarter of the voting say.
    What I can’t accept is any more delaying.
    It’s time to find out where the provinces stand, and why. I invite ALL my fellow soccer scribes – and fans – to grab the shovels and do some digging.
    Again, this information is officially secret – but so is just about everything else we’re talking about here.
    We know the word “secret” doesn’t mean what it used to mean. Let’s all put our hearts and efforts together for the next ten days, and prove it.
    Onward!
    Guest

    Ask Sincy

    By Guest, in 24th Minute,

    On Feb. 9 Christine Sinclair will be taking part in a live video conference on the Web site PLAY3RSPORT. She will be taking questions in an effort to mentor young athletes.
    PLAY3RSPORT is inviting people to submit questions to Sinclair. You can do so through their Facebook page.
    For more information check out the PLAY3RSPORT Web site.
    NOTE: Canadian Soccer News has a request in with the Western New York Flash to talk to Sinclair about the challenges she is facing this year in WPS and in Germany. We will let you know when that interview is scheduled.
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
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