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    Guest
    The Impact have invited two players to help complete the offensive side of the squad. Coach Marc Dos Santos mentionned he is still looking for a forward or offensive midfielder, which is why he invited Jason Herrick and Migniane Diouf.
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]

    Jason Herrick, a 23 year-old forward from the University of Maryland, has started training with the team yesterday. He was drafted in the 3rd round (43rd overall) of the last MLS Super Draft by the Chicago Fire and will be hoping to get a few playing minutes with the Impact under his belt, should he sign for the club this season.

    Migniane Diouf, 22 years old, is a Senegalese forward spotted by Marc Dos Santos during his winter trip in Africa. Diouf has played at FC Tromso (Norway, 1st division) before returning to Senegalese club Diambars. He should be making his way at the Bell Training Complex during the week.
    The team will also be playing a few games prior to the start of the season (April 9th @ Tampa Bay).
    Friday, March 18th : vs. Academy (Marie-Victorin, 4:30 pm)
    Friday, Match 25th : vs. University National Selection (Bell Complex, 10:00 am)
    Friday, April 1st : TBD
    52 weeks...
    Guest
    (Background: "Why are Canadians being shut out of MLS MatchDay Live?" and "Update on MatchDay Live in Canada")
    Seattle and Los Angeles will be getting the MLS regular season underway on Tuesday night. But fans in Canada who were hoping to catch First Kick using the league's web-streaming service, MatchDay Live, won't get that chance.
    A notice on the league website, added in the last week, states: "If you are trying to access the service from Canada please check back. We are working to add the service for Canadian subscribers as soon as possible. Thank you for your patience."*
    So, how soon is "as soon as possible"?
    "We hope to have something in market within a week," a league official told Canadian Soccer News via email late Monday night. "The delay was due to the finalization of the Canadian broadcast deals both nationally and locally."
    Update: MatchDay Live is now available.
    TSN announced its national package weeks ago. The Vancouver Whitecaps announced their regional broadcaster over 10 days ago. That would seemingly leave Toronto FC -- and the situation surrounding its regional broadcasting schedule -- as the culprit behind the ongoing MDL delay.
    Not so, according to a person with knowledge of TFC's broadcasting situation, who told CSN that "the two issues are not linked."
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    That person, who requested anonymity because the deal has not yet been made public, says details of Toronto FC's regional broadcasting package should be announced in about a week.
    That's right around the same time that MatchDay Live is supposedly, finally, going to be available to Canadian fans.
    Coincidence?
    Either way, it appears this saga is finally set to come to an end. In an ideal situation, fans would have been aware of their viewing options long before the season began, rather than once it had already gotten underway.
    But as it stands, the appropriate parties should be providing Canadian fans with details on how they'll be able to view MLS games during the 2011 season in about a week's time.
    And if they don't... Canadian Soccer News will be on it.
    *Note: Thanks to a reader who pointed out that, as of midday on Wednesday, the notice has been removed from the MLS site. It had appeared as recently as Tuesday. No word yet on why that may be.
    Guest
    The Montreal Impact promised the media a special announcement on Monday morning, and they did not disappoint. Well, I was surprised...
    While the team was beginning the second part of their pre-season camp, Adam Braz came up in the stands to confirm his retirement from the game to become... the team manager.
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    The first part of the announcement was known for a week (Radio-Canada reported the rumor last Tuesday), but the second part was unexpected.


    The 29-year old defender, often known for his on-field outbursts and yellow cards, will now be in charge of the logistics for the first team as well as the visiting teams. Can you imagine that ? Adam Braz making sure that the visiting team's are settled at Saputo Stadium. Special...
    Speaking about his temperamental character, Adam Braz did mention that it was a 'thing of the past' and that he was happy to take on his new position.
    Braz also specified that he held talks with sporting director Nick De Santis to explain his intentions of working in sports management.
    Braz will be replacing current team manager Gabriel Quieti, who will be taking an administrative role at the main office.
    On the field, coach Marc Dos Santos explained that he would like to see Mr. Versatile Simon Gatti take Braz's right back position.
    Adam Braz, perhaps the opposition's most hated player, has worn the Impact shirt 145 times, winning two Championships and one Nutrilite Cup. He also played 13 games for Toronto FC in their 2007 inaugural season. Throughout his career in North America, he's accumulated 41 yellow cards and 4 sending offs.
    So, what do you all think of this announcement ?
    Photo : Impact de Montréal/Pépé
    Guest
    Honduras will end its long and at times embarrassing search for a permanent manager this week, appointing the World Cup battle-hardened Colombian Luis Fernando Suárez. He’s another name in a list of coaches Canada manager Stephen Hart must outfox to get to the 2014 World Cup.
    On paper at least, is Canada really that far behind the handful of other countries vying for the last Brazil 2014 spot? The difference lies in the intangibles - the support a team receives from its own fans in its own stadiums, how well the domestic league compliments the national program, and of course, the ability of the guy in the technical area.
    So how does Stephen Hart stack up against the other coaches vying for the last Concacaf World Cup berth?
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    Honduras
    Luis Fernando Suárez’s biggest achievement on the international stage was guiding Ecuador to the final-16 of the 2006 World Cup in Germany (although getting them out of South American qualifying in the first place is pretty impressive too), where they eventually lost to England and a David Beckham free kick. He also won a league title in Colombia in 1999.
    Costa Rica
    Argentine Ricardo La Volpe has loads of coaching experience with some of - heck with all of, really - the biggest clubs in Mexico. He won titles in 1991 with Atlante and in 2002 with Toluca. Internationally, he won the Gold Cup with Mexico in 2003 and took that country to the last-16 of the 2006 World Cup where they lost to a spectacular extra time volley from Argentina's Maxi Rodríguez. La Volpe enjoys a cigarette on the touchline in the dwindling list of countries where he’s still allowed to have one, and once told journalists that he would rather give up football than smoking.
    El Salvador
    No permanent manager, but as recently as January they were eyeing names like ex-Almería manager, Juan Manuel Lillo. Apparently the Spaniard couldn’t agree on terms with the Salvadorians, but his profile gives a hint to the ambitions of their FA.
    Guatemala
    Uruguayan Ever Hugo Almeida has won club titles in Paraguay, Guatemala and Ecuador. He’s led the Guatemalans to five wins and six losses since taking over last May.
    Jamaica
    More on this in a second, but here we have a combination of football and food company sponsorship with which Stephen Hart could relate. Jamaica top-man Theodore Whitmore won the Captain's Bakery Western Confederation Super League (the Jamaican second division) in 2009. He’s also won the Caribbean Cup four times and the top Jamaican domestic tournament once.
    Trinidad & Tobago
    Head coaching job is vacant.
    Over the next two years, Hart will battle managers with experience in World Cup elimination rounds, or at minimum, a club title or two in their own country. His experience? Stints as coach of the U17 and U20 national teams (as well as the senior team in the 2007 Gold Cup) and managing an amateur side in his hometown called the Halifax King of Donair.
    It's difficult to criticize Hart, because for starters, he's charismatic and likable, but he also offers the sense that he gets the complex and delicate gig that is coaching Canada. For those reasons alone many will overlook his lack of experience. Plus, the players appear to like him. At the very least there hasn’t been the same public grumbling that brought the downfall of Dale Mitchell’s already crumbling regime. But up until now, the stakes Hart has been playing for have been much lower.
    In a one-off situation, Suarez or La Volpe's World Cup experience may not be a huge factor. But over the course of a 15-20 game World Cup qualifying cycle there's a good chance it will.
    Hart is actually in an enviable position. If Canada qualify for the World Cup, a lot of the credit will go to him, and what he was able to coax out of this group of players. And unless Canada suffer an epic, Mitchell-style, flameout, I fully expect Canada supporters will feel Hart did an admirable job with the resources available.
    It’s a chicken-and-egg situation. Canada won’t attract an experienced manager until it improves on the pitch. (And to be fair, until it gets its act together off it too.) But you know what would go a great way toward improving on the pitch? An experienced manager.
    The debate about whether the CSA truly needs to scrape together money it barely has for a big-name, experienced national team coach is an old one. And the Hart experiment will provide yet more evidence for both sides. But should Canada fail in qualifying yet again, a lot of people will holler for the CSA to hire a guy with a World Cup qualifying cycle or two under his belt.
    Guest
    It's not a huge shock that Burnley defender David Edgar would be called to represent Canada against Belarus on March 20th: Les Rouges aren't overburdened with options; MLS will have kicked off, so we're looking at a mostly Euro-based team; and Edgar just got his first senior cap as a sub against Greece last month. Edgar may not be getting a lot of first-team action, but he's fit and willing, and that's all we can ask for.
    So it makes sense that he be called.
    What doesn't make sense is that the CSA hasn't officially announced the game yet.
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    The friendly, which does appear on FIFA's website, seems slated to take place in Anatalya, Turkey (presumably because Belarus is too cold/crappy/corrupt this time of year). But how can we be sure?
    In fairness, we can't be totally sure that Edgar has been called: the info initially came from a Burnley fan website, and there's no attribution or quotes. But they do seem pretty sure of the whole thing, and that counts for something, doesn't it? No? Well, whatever – Edgar himself has confirmed the call up. The Kitchener, Ont., native tweeted this thanks for all the congratulatory messages he's received: "Thanks for all the msgs of congrats on the call up! #appreciated." The CSA, of course, has said nothing.
    Either way – that is, Edgar or no Edgar – since the game is about two weeks away, isn't it about time the CSA said something about it? Metcalfe St. has yet to respond to inquiries (mine and, I'm sure, a lot of other people's) about whether the game is going to happen or not. More info on that if/when Canadian Soccer News gets word from the CSA.
    As an added twist to the tale, FIFA is busy investigating last month's pair of international friendlies in Anatalya for suspicions of match-fixing. Matches between Latvia and Bolivia (res. 2-1), and Estonia v Bulgaria (res. 2-2) raised flags – and the objections of all four of the respective football associations – for being settled exclusively on penalties. In total, eight penalties were taken (one having been retaken, possibly for dubious reasons) providing all seven goals.
    It could be that these developments have stopped the CSA from officially announcing the match, pending some look-see into the intentions of whosoever brought Canada and Belarus together for the friendly: third-party agencies are often used to arrange friendlies, and if Canada used the same agency as Latvia et al., the CSA is right to be wary.
    In the meantime, Canadian soccer fans are keen to get some word as to whether or not the match is on. So too, I'm sure, is David Edgar.
    Guest
    If you'd like to sit in the Canada supporter section for the Gold Cup match vs. the USA on June 7 in Detroit, it's vital you purchase tickets today (Monday, March 14), if you haven't done so already. The Voyageurs need to sell out the initial block of tickets allocated to them by today to keep alive the hope of being given more.
    Details of the ticket situation are being discussed in the Voyageurs forum, as are plans for a same-day bus from Toronto. If the current available information is accurate, hopping on the party bus and sitting with your fellow Canada supporters will run you about $118 (plus food and booze, of course).
    Your easiest method of snagging a ticket is using the "Buy Now" button on the right-hand side of the Canadian Soccer News main page (no PayPal account needed; you can use your credit card).
    Allez les rouges![PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    Guest
    To be more precise, a 66% stake in Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment (which owns Toronto FC and manages BMO Field) appears to be up for grabs, as the Ontario Teachers' Pension Plan looks to be shopping its majority stake. The price tag has been floated at between $1.3 and $1.5 billion for a controlling interest in MLSE, and while the Toronto Star reported months ago that Rogers Communications had interest, recent reports suggest current minority owner Larry Tanenbaum might make a play at a majority stake himself.
    Many fans across the city's sporting spectrum would likely welcome this news, as the OTPP's legal obligation to perpetually increase its return on investment (irrespective of on-field/on-ice/on-court success) is a particular sticking point for many Toronto sports fans. It's also lead to charges that MLSE, an an entity, is "cheap" or "doesn't care about winning".
    So, what would this potential sale mean for Toronto FC? Not as much as another potential move brewing at MLSE headquarters.
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    While MLSE, as an entity, is often derided by long-suffering Toronto sports fans, its CEO, Richard Peddie, is the most frequently-used whipping boy. But Peddie announced last year (mere days before the story broke about Rogers' interest in MLSE) that he'd be stepping down from his post at the end of 2011. The organization is in the midst of finding his eventual replacement, but an interesting tidbit appeared in a column by Dave Feschuk in Sunday's Star, in reference to the search for a new MLSE CEO:
    Anselmi's name should ring a bell to Toronto FC supporters; he is, essentially, the face of the parent company when it comes to soccer matters. There's nothing to be said right now as to what his chances are of taking over the CEO job, but it would certainly be interesting to have the executive that's been in-tune with Toronto FC for years be at the ostensible helm of the corporate board.There's no guarantee he'd use that position to move TFC-related matters to the forefront of the corporate agenda... but anything's possible. Then again, it's probably just as likely that any love of footie he's developed would be mercilessly subsumed by his duties to monitor MLSE's interests in hockey, basketball, real estate and so on.
    And, of course, this is all hypothetical. But then again, Toronto sports fans talk about the playoffs every year, so hypothetical musing is nothing new.
    As to the potential sale of a controlling interest in MLSE... it's unlikely that this will have a substantive impact on the day-to-day operations of Toronto FC. Many people accuse MLSE of being cheap, but as my colleague Duane Rollins has said in the past, the issue isn't necessarily that the organization has been unwilling to spend money; it's that they've been unable to spend it properly.
    Sure, Mista was a bad signing. The absolute faith placed in Mo Johnston was dodgy. The beer at BMO Field is eye-bulgingly expensive. The team hasn't made the playoffs in four years. Money was wasted on Player A, B, C (I'd go on, but the alphabet only has 26 letters).
    On the other hand... MLSE paid to bring grass to BMO Field. And have the stadium expanded. And have the bubble moved to Lamport. And they've poured money into the TFC Academy, including the upcoming plans to build a full-scale training facility for the Junior Reds. And recruited Aron Winter and Paul Mariner to finally (hopefully) create some stability when it comes to the day-to-day management of the team.
    That sort of "you win some, you lose some" scenario will continue unabated, regardless of whether the majority of MLSE's shares are owned by OTPP, Rogers, Tanenbaum or some other entity. Of course, if Rogers were to purchase those shares, that opens up an entire new can of worms as it relates to broadcasting and warring media companies -- but that's another story for another day.
    For now, let's say that Toronto FC fans should temper any excitement they may be having about this situation. While the acronym "MLSE" always riles up the passions in this city, it's doubtful that a transfer of power will have any significant immediate impact on the pitch at BMO Field.
    Unless, of course, the new owners rip up the grass and put back the turf to save a few bucks...
    Guest
    East Vancouver-- The final dress rehearsal before the Vancouver Whitecaps' First Kick was held behind closed doors at Empire Stadium. The last exhibition match of the pre-season brought defending MLS champion Colorado Rapids. With exactly 7 days remaining until the Caps' first-ever MLS home game, the stage was set for what amounts to probably the most important game of the pre-season.
    It was not just a chance for the operations crew to work out all their kinks before the grand opening gala. Saturday night was the first time that new Whitecaps striker Eric Hassli got a chance to play in a full match with his new squad. After arriving from Switzerland earlier this week, there will be incredible pressure on the Frenchman to produce after signing on as the club's first designated player. [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    Starting Lineups-

    Vancouver Whitecaps FC
    Nolly
    Leathers Janicki Boxall Rochat
    Khalfan Koffie Dunfield Teibert
    Harris Hassli
    Colorado Rapids
    Casey Cummings
    Mullan Mastroeni Larentowicz Smith
    Kimura Moor Wynne Wallace
    Pickens


    Hassli did not disappoint in his first showcase to fans and the media. Initially there was a little concern in my mind when, in the 7th minute, Atiba Harris dummied a ball through to Hassli in the middle of the pitch just inside the Colorado end. It looked like maybe a communication breakdown, but after that it was nothing but smooth sailing for the two as they terrorized the Rapids defence.
    Within the next two minutes Harris and Hassli hooked up twice more, and the French striker managed shots on goal. While they were not incredible shots that called for magnificent saves, the fact he was able to get a foot on the ball and direct it on net shows that there is a lot of promise in the new signing.
    Connor Casey is the current MLS player that Whitecaps Director of Soccer Operations says Hassli resembles most. Casey, though, is slower then Betty White in poorly fitted shoes; it was obvious to everyone when he was sprung on a break and no less then three Whitecaps were able to catch him before he could manage a shot on goal. Casey's physicality is where the comparison was truly drawn from, and it's legitimate: both are physically imposing and strong on the ball -- but as Soehn said, Hassli has better footwork.
    Colorado's only real pressing moment came when Casey got away with a push from behind on Gerson Koffie, who was in the air about to head a Colorado goal kick. The slight push sent Koffie tumbling; the ball would have been sent back into the Rapids' end, but instead drifted deeper into the Caps half and was collected by Omar Cummings, who was then promptly tackled by Greg Janicki resulting in a free kick from out side the 18-yard box.
    Jamie Smith put the free kick wide of the net. He managed to screw up another free kick later in the game. Set pieces were ugly at either end of the pitch though. In the 19th minute Terry Dunfield, Russell Teibert and Alain Rochat teamed up to bungle a free kick and didn't even manage a shot. Hopefully that can get that worked out by next week.
    At the 28th minute, we all had a chuckle as Harris made me look like a genius. He got a beauty of a pass and quickly turned, getting himself clear to the right of the goal. He then promptly hammered a shot so far wide left of the goal that it actually went out for a throw in.
    Hassli and Harris connected one last time before half, with Hassli playing a deft little touch off the tip of his toe to Harris who had a opening to take a shot and got it off in a hurry. Unfortunately the shot was blocked, so we will never know how badly it would have missed.
    After that, the ball just sort of got passed around by the Rapids in their own end. That was the story of the first half though, with possession being split 51% to 49% in favour of Colorado. The 'Caps had a slight disadvantage in possession, but they definitely looked to be the more dangerous team when on the ball. Colorado were more than content to let the 'Caps chase them around in their own defensive end and rarely looked to counter when they took control of the play.
    To start the second half the only substitution that was made was Joe Cannon coming into the game for Jay Nolly. It only took 3 minutes for Casey to take a little revenge on Koffie for his earlier attacks on Rapids players. Koffie actually started the second half having already committed 4 fouls. He finished last year with a bit of a reputation for being an aggressive tackler and many have predicted that he will lead the club in fouls this year. If SportsAction takes bets on that sort of thing, the smart money is on him actually leading with that stat.
    Cannon got his first test at 52' when he had to make a waist-high save on a very hard shot, he was unable to corral the ball, but it was cleared by the defence quickly. No less then 3 minutes later the 'Caps were breaking down the right side of the pitch and a strong pass came across the top of the 18 to Atiba and he dummied it through to Russell Teibert, who was open on the right side. Teibert's hard low shot was saved by Perkins but the rebound squirted out to a charging Dunfield. The former Manchester City youth player blasted a shot so high over the goal I thought that it was going to clear the scoreboard and break a windshield in the parking lot.
    Not too long after that (57') Wes Knight, Omar Salgado and Alexandre Morfaw came in for Nizar Khalfan, Eric Hassli and Gershon Koffie.
    Then the ball got passed around in the Rapids end for another 10 minutes. That is until Atiba got fed up with watching the Rapids defence playing keep away in their own end. Harris snuck up on the Colorado keeper who had his back to him and nearly stole the ball off of him.
    Salgado had been in the game for almost 16 minutes before he finally got a touch on the ball -- and his first touch was a turnover. He looked good out there but by the time he got into the flow Colorado had decided to take some initiative and start pressuring the Vancouver back line a little more steadily. It seemed as though when Khalfan came out of the game the 'Caps were no longer able to push forward. I might like Wes Knight better as a defender anyways, but Jonathan Leathers had a very good game.
    With Gershon out, they didn't seem to win nearly as many balls in the middle of the pitch. While Koffie did win a lot of balls he also had several mind-blowing turnovers that we're not capitalized on by the Colorado squad. Not too long after Salgado got his first touch and we all calmed down a bit Long Tan and Jeb Brovsky came in for Harris and Rochat. Then the air completely left Vancouver's sails. Teitur wanted to see how Jeb would do as a left back.
    Then it happened... Colorado finally got the goal everyone was waiting for. Let's just be realistic here for a second: we are an expansion franchise, and they are the defending champions. Brovski was a serious downgrade from Rochat and it showed almost immediately. The goal was very reminiscent of Seattle's second goal over the weekend. The ball came up the right side and there seemed to be a miscue between the defensive backs, and as the ball came across the 6-yard box nobody cleared it, nobody collected it, and it came to an opposing player. After a quick pass Jamie Smith drove a ball past Cannon into the right of the net.
    The 'Caps played well when their starting line up was on the pitch, and they definitely did not look out of place against the defending champs. Once their starters came out it was a bit of a different story but that is to be expected.
    While tonight's result was not ideal, it was still a great game. The team looked very good, and they will be tough to score on all year. The tandem of Harris and Hassli is going to cause a lot of problems for opposing teams once they get their chemistry. I am left to wonder if Gershon lacks the composure while in possession of the ball to really be successful in this league. Defensively he is sound but as predicted he kind of got pushed around a few times when faced with a bigger stronger opponent.
    Speaking of big guys, Michael Boxall had a fairly decent game filling in for an injured Jay DeMerit. By the sounds of it, expect "The Big Kiwi" to be the club's next international signing. I could only see Mouloud being signed before him with regards to the international players. Teitur seems to be really high on the kid and his footwork and positioning are fantastic. He likes to put the body on guys and it's good to see cause he's a brick house. Mouloud is still a risk because he is not back to full health yet almost a year after his ankle injury last year.
    Hassli had a huge smile on his face when he was addressing the media. The tone of his voice made it seem as though he was genuinely really happy with how things are looking here in Lotus Land. Toronto may be in for a bigger test than what everyone is expecting. While we have all known that Vancouver will be strong in the back end of the field, it looks as though there will be lots of excitement around the other teams goal this year as well.
    Guest
    There's really not much fuel that needs to be added to the fire of a Canada vs. USA rivalry in anything. We're automatically predisposed to get riled up as if our lives depend on the result, while our southern neighbours act the same way if they win (whereas, if they lose, the event gets retroactively dismissed as being unworthy of their time and attention).
    But what the hell, I'll try to do some stoking ahead of the Gold Cup showdown anyway, by directing your attention to a piece over at The Yanks Are Coming, a meant-to-be-tongue-in-cheek look at the U.S.A.'s Gold Cup opponents. The post's author calls himself "Puck" which, if my hazy memory of high school English class can be trusted (it probably can't) was the annoying little twerp who got on everyone's nerves in A Midsummer Night's Dream.
    I'm probably giving this piece of garbage more attention than it deserves, but what the hell, I haven't done a good FJM in a while (or ever, really). So give the original article a quick scan, then head back for a dissection.
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    In trying to come up with a topic for this week, I thought it would be a great idea to maliciously poke fun at our rival nations. However, in order to make a poignant joke, you really need to do your research.
    This is in the preamble, before "Puck" lets loose his hilarity on Panama, Guadeloupe and Canada. I'm gonna focus on the Canadian side of things, obviously, but note a few things here: One, "Puck" admits that his post is malicious in nature, which means I'd be totally justified in calling it a poorly-written piece of crap. That's handy, since it's a poorly-written piece of crap. Second, "Puck" specifies that he is really going to do some solid research (also that his jokes will be "poignant", which I doubt he knows the meaning of).
    I consider myself a smart guy but I focus on science, not history, so needless to say I learned some really interesting facts about these three CONCACAF nations.
    Hear that, folks? "Puck" is going to rip on us with some "really interesting facts", which I'm sure won't be the same lukewarm, boring stereotypes that typically get lobbed over the border. Also, science is his forte.
    Oh Canada, what can be said about the nation to the great white North? First of all, the country is huge, but most of it is completely uninhabitable which is why the majority of Canadians live as far south as possible.
    Ha, get it? "Oh Canada". 'Cause our anthem is O Canada. Great stuff. Really interesting. Also, the country is "huge"? "Puck", don't sell yourself short by saying you only focus on science; clearly geography is a strong suit as well. And while the majority of Canadians do live fairly close to the U.S. border, I'd like to take issue with your description of most of the country as "uninhabitable"... but that wouldn't really be fair, since your grasp of that word's definition seems as tenuous as your understanding of "poignant".
    Every year it seems like more and more of them are turning up in South Florida.
    Old people like to go where it's sunny. Wow, what an indictment of our soccer team. I almost wonder if this is a back-handed Chris Bosh joke. Such a comment would make no sense, but maybe "Puck" thinks "Canadian" is a communicable disease that Bosh picked up while playing here. And if that's the case, he's forfeited his right to be called an expert in science.
    Before I really get into busting on Canada, first I need to go over some information on the soccer squad. Currently, they are ranked 80 in the world by FIFA...
    84th, actually. Quality research there. To recap thus far: geography, yay; science, history, math and reading comprehension, nay.
    ...and have only qualified for one World Cup back in 1986. In terms of CONCACAF and other FIFA International Tournament play, they earned the right to compete in the 2001 Confederations Cup by winning the 2000 Gold Cup with a win over Columbia.
    Colombia. "Geography" has been moved to the "nay" category. Note that the "yay" category is now empty.
    While it appears that Teal Bunbury has made his choice to play for the USMNT, there has been no word yet if 85 year old goalkeeper and Edson Buddle chew toy Pat Onstad will use his Rascal motorized scooter in goal during the Gold Cup.
    Summary: Pat Onstad is old. The joke is more cutting if it's not a joke that's already been used by Canadian fans themselves for the past five years. And if he wasn't retired from the national team. (Though who the hell am I kidding, the way we're going, he probably will be our third 'keeper.)
    Enough with the pleasantries: it’s time to let loose.
    Alright, here we go "Puck"! Time to use your top-flight research and learning skills to really tear us stupid Canadians a new one!
    First of all, I don’t think there is a more annoying person in the world than a French Canadian.
    Number of French-Canadians "Puck" has ever actually met in his life: Zero.
    Seriously, everyone hates French Canadians, even other Canadians.
    You're the sort of idiot that calls them "freedom fries", aren't you?
    So what if you speak French, you live in Quebec, jackleg!
    Yeah, take that, you... wait, what? Jackleg? I've never heard that used as an insult before. A quick Google search tells me it's a term mainly used in the southern U.S. Imagine that, an ignorant xenophobe living beneath the Mason-Dixon line. Who'd have guessed?*
    That makes you Canadian, not French— if you don’t like it then get on with it and move to Paris or Nice, for heaven’s sake!
    I'm guessing Puck considers naming a French city that's not Paris to be top-notch research.
    Sure Canada has given the world some beautiful women like Elisha Cuthbert...
    Y'know, the country isn't really in a position to "give" a person away. Humans can't own other humans. You know that, right?
    ...but all is not forgiven because Canada also has given us blight upon society Justin Bieber.
    Oh, come on Puck, don't overcompensate here. You've got at least a couple of brightly-coloured hoodies in your wardrobe. You've tried channeling the power of the Biebs. The fact that it's been unsuccessful isn't his fault.
    Or maybe that isn't it. Maybe he's a bit too, um, "un-manly" for your liking? Hell, I'm already assuming you're an ignorant, xenophobic misogynist... may as well throw homophobia in there too, for good measure.
    Honestly, someone needs to get rid of this kid, I am tired of hearing grown women talk about how cute he is: it disgusts me. I would never suggest that he go to a local intrastate and play in traffic, but you get what I’m saying. On a side note, you all need to be following Mos Def on twitter because he frequently drops gems like this one: “I heard Justin Bieber has a 10 inch dick, but it’s in his ass and belongs to Usher…”
    Well, guess there was no use in me tiptoeing around Puck's homophobia, then. Cripes, he's spent more time "researching" Bieber than the Canadian soccer team. But yeah, damn us for producing an annoying pop star! America has only ever produced musicians of indisputable musical creativity and social worth.
    A good cheer for late in the game at Ford Field then would be:
    Dear Canada, It is time for you to take your Universal Health Care, funny accents and leave.
    If anyone has any clue what tune that'd be sung to, please lemme know. Hell, it probably matches up perfectly with a Bieber tune I've never heard (but which a devotee such as Puck would be very familiar with).
    And, wait a minute... you're ignorant, xenophobic, homophobic and you hate universal health care? Here, let me write your next paragraph for you: "I can't wait till that secret Muslim Barack Hussein Obama -- who Glenn Beck told me was born in Kenya -- gets 'taken out' of office (if you know what I mean) and replaced by a real American patriot like Sarah Palin... or Rand Paul."
    Based on this brilliant, intellectually stimulating deconstruction of not only Canadian nationhood, but our chances at the Gold Cup, I have not only a pretty good character sketch of Puck as a person, but also a pretty solid idea of what he may look like:


    - - -


    * I appreciate the irony in responding to hackneyed, pejorative cliches about one region with hackneyed, pejorative cliches about another region. But he started it! And don't get me wrong, this isn't one giant dig at the South. There are plenty of brilliant people from the South. Hell, Puck might not even be from the South.
    Also, lest you think I'm throwing all of The Yanks Are Coming under the bus, I present Neil Blackmon's more reasonable assessment: "the Canada opener should make for good fun—fans can start a “Hate Canada Week”, alla 2010’s wildly successful “Hate England Week”, or perhaps we can encourage Canada to ante up the stakes for the match with a friendly bet or two. Longtime Yanks reader Braden Medders has already set the bar high for this idea with the suggestion that the US-Canada winner receives Teal Bunbury for eternity while the loser receives Buffalo."
    Good idea. I don't think Bunbury or Buffalo are on the table, but how about a friendly bet of some kind?
    You'd have to give us odds -- and nothing that involves wearing a dress (that's already gone painfully wrong for one CSN writer). So Neil, or any other American writer or pundit reading this... any ideas? Lemme hear 'em: canadiansoccerguys@gmail.com
    Not Puck, though; I don't want to hear from you. You're a moran.
    .
    Guest

    Breaking down the votes

    By Guest, in 24th Minute,

    The writer’s MLS rankings were:
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    Rudi Schuller
    1) Real Salt Lake
    2) LA Galaxy
    3) New York Red Bulls
    4) Colorado Rapids
    5) FC Dallas
    6) Seattle Sounders
    7) San Jose Earthquakes
    8) Sporting KC
    9) Houston Dynamo
    10) Philadelphia Union
    11) Toronto FC
    12) Columbus Crew
    13) Chicago Fire
    14) DC United
    15) Portland Timbers
    16) Vancouver Whitecaps
    17) New England Revolution
    18) Chivas USA
    Ben Rycroft
    1) LA Galaxy
    2) Real Salt Lake
    3) New York Red Bulls
    4) FC Dallas
    5) Colorado Rapids
    6) Seattle Sounders
    7) San Jose Earthquakes
    8) Sporting KC
    9) Toronto FC
    10) Columbus Crew
    11) Houston Dynamo
    12) Portland Timbers
    13) Vancouver Whitecaps
    14) DC United
    15) Philadelphia Union
    16) Chicago Fire
    17) New England Revolution
    18) Chivas USA
    Pierce Lang
    1) LA Galaxy
    2) Real Salt Lake
    3) Colorado Rapids
    4) Seattle Sounders
    5) New York Red Bulls
    6) FC Dallas
    7) San Jose Earthquakes
    8) Houston Dynamo
    9) Vancouver Whitecaps
    10) Sporting KC
    11) Columbus Crew
    12) Toronto FC
    13) Portland Timbers
    14) DC United
    15) Philadelphia Union
    16) Chicago Fire
    17) New England Revolution
    18) Chivas USA
    Some Canadian Guys
    1) Salt Lake
    2) Los Angeles
    3) New York
    4) Colorado
    5) Seattle
    6) Dallas
    7) San Jose
    8) Houston
    9) Kansas City
    10) Philadelphia
    11) Toronto
    12) Chicago
    13) Columbus
    14) Vancouver
    15) Portland
    16) D.C.
    17) Chivas
    18) New England
    Duane Rollins
    1) SLC
    2) Dallas
    3) Galaxy
    4) New York
    5) Seattle
    6)Colorado
    7) San Jose
    8) KC
    9) Houston
    10) Toronto
    11) Philly
    12) Columbus
    13) Vancouver
    14) Chicago
    15) Portland
    16) DC United
    17) New England
    18) Chivas
    Readers
    1) SLC
    2) LAG
    3) NYRB
    4) Dallas
    5) Seattle
    6) Colorado
    7) SJ
    8) KC
    9) Houston
    10) Philly
    11) Chicago
    12) TFC
    13) Vancouver
    14) Portland
    15) DCU
    16) Columbus
    17) Chivas
    18) New England
    Guest

    2011 MLS preview, part IV

    By Guest, in 24th Minute,

    We conclude our 2011 MLS preview with our picks for the top four teams in the league. We will also make our selection for MLS Cup, Supporter's Shield, US Open Cup and Voyageur's Cup.
    The top four are:
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    No 4 - Dallas
    No team gets less respect than Dallas - a club that knows how to grind out results. That isn't exciting, but it's exactly what wins in MLS (and if we're honest, Dallas is MLS Cup champions right now if the 2010 MLS Cup isn't refereed like it was a rugby game).
    Dallas lacks stand out stars -- well, except the league MVP David Ferreira. They are well coached and have likely the best depth in the league. They will need to deal with CONCACAF Champions League this year. So, that depth will be tested.
    No 3 - New York Red Bulls
    The Red Bulls turn around in 2010 should give Toronto fans reason for hope. You can get really good, really fast. Of course Toronto didn't sign Rafa Marquez and Thierry Henry. So, there's that.
    However, the Red Bulls are more than their two high powered DPs (although it will be very interesting to see what Henry does with a full season -- this is a player with a lot left and who plays a position that has the potential to have a major influence on a game). Hans Backe put together a strong supporting cast that paced the Bulls move up the fixture list before the big names got there.
    Even moving Angel could prove to be a addition by subtraction since there is only one ball and 11 starting positions.
    No 2 - LA Galaxy
    The backline is a bit no-name, but solid. That's about the worst thing you can say about the galaxy's talent. There is no weakness. On paper, the Galaxy are the best team in the league.
    Sure, Edson Buddle has left, but you just know that this will be the year that Chad Barrett breaks out. Landon Donovan could be the best MLS player of all-time and they also have a former English international (when he's not attending weddings in London).
    Yet...
    The intangibles are the question mark. The Galaxy are talented, but can they win when it matters? A playoff bomb and CONCACAF embarrassment "highlighted" the season in 2010.
    They'll be good, but it's unclear whether they'll ever be a champion.
    No 1 - Salt Lake
    They are the most complete team in the league -- build from the back out, solid in the middle and just dangerous enough on the attack. They are ripe with leadership and lack egos. Also, they've won before -- the core of the 2009 championship side is still here.
    SLC is next to unbeatable at home. They are proving themselves in CONCACAF (and are favourite to advance to the regional championship later this month).
    In short, we like SLC. We like them a lot. Hell, they even have a Canadian to cheer for in Will Johnson (who is also damn good).
    SLC is the best team in the league. Our vote actually wasn't that close.
    MLS Cup: SLC over New York (the caveat here is that New York could be the host. If they are this is a toss-up)
    Supporter's Shield: SLC (they will battle with LA all year)
    US Open Cup: Portland Timbers (not wanting to be shown up by two-time winner Seattle, the Timbers will go all out in the cup
    Voyageurs Cup: Toronto (An easy touch in the semi-final combined with the war that is bound to be Montreal v Vancouver gives the Reds the upper hand in their quest for a third straight Canadian championship).
    Guest
    Burnaby--When I found out that the Whitecaps were holding another press conference at EA Sports headquarters I was about as excited as I was Christmas eve 1996, waiting to open the latest instalment of NHL the next morning. Wait what was I talking about again???
    Oh yeah! EA Sports, BC Soccer, and The Vancouver Whitecaps, came together at the EA Sports Campus to make a big announcement about the future of Youth Soccer, and Player Development in BC. [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    EA Sports are a big player internationally, I'm not going to insult your intelligence and get any more in depth about the fact they are the creme de la creme when it comes to sports video games. The addition of EA to the BC youth soccer family will mean that they can use their financial muscle and influence in the business community and that should help in attracting other companies to invest in the development of our local youth programs throughout the province. EA will make its compound available to local youth programs involved in the Premier League.
    The 8 franchises within the league will have 10 teams, 5 for each sex (u13 to u18). So if there are 18 to 20 players per team we are looking at top level coaching for about 1600 players annually. With EA Sports joining the fold now we finally see some financial backing for these kids that has been so desperately missed for... for... well really it's hard to miss something you've never had so let me rephrase that. Finally these kids are going to be getting some financial help and no longer will the youth clubs be dependant on registration fees for funding. No longer will our amateur youth athletes have to sit around and pray for municipal, provincial, and federal governments to foot the bill.
    For some bizarre reason BC has had their top level players playing their competitive season over the winter months rather then over the summer, while the rest of the country has been playing their season when there is not snow on the ground. It is obviously advantageous to play all year round, but not having your provincial competitive season in line with the rest of the country creates issues with the national team organizing camps and scouting trips. The EA Sports BC Soccer Premier League will run a pilot mini season this fall from September to November just to work out the kinks and get all the logistical issues taken care of in advance of getting the real show on the road.
    It is a breath of fresh air to see corporate Canada finally stepping up and taking the reigns when it comes to funding soccer here in the great white north.
    The Whitecaps Players were all on hand for today's announcement and the club happened to break a little more news in a very interesting fashion.
    Long Tan and Blake Wagner have been officially added to the clubs roster. Blake is a defender/midfielder who was on the roster last year and had flashes of brilliance from time to time. When he is on his game he is at best a second string defender/midfielder in this league, especially on this squad. When his confidence is shot and his consistency wanes, he is an average USSF D2 defender/midfielder.
    Long Tan has been the focus of my scrutiny for a while. He is very athletic but goes to ground easily. Generally I like to put strikers in two categories; creators and finishers. I have a hard time with Tan because he doesn't really seem very adept at either. He has quick feet, and decent speed. Armed with more moves then a game of chess, he doesn't seem to be able to put them together to actually get by anyone. These opportunities to create a play are all for not when he gets the ball taken off him or he falls on his ass. He is not exactly a clinical finisher but he finds good positions on the field, so the opportunity is there for him but only time will tell.
    As the players on hand started to play each other as each other it became apparent that several of the players who have not yet been signed appeared in the game, rookie defender Bilal Duckett, Kiwi International Michael Boxall, Phillipe Davies look-a-like Jeb Brovsky, and Brazillian TFC castaway Camilo all show up in the game.
    The players were all on hand to have their heads scanned for 3D Motion capture for some next level video gaming.
    I snuck in a quick game against an un-named member of the Sportsnet crew and lost in a shoot out after Jay DeMerit hit the crossbar. He was actually standing there watching. He sympathized, he wouldn't even been shooting if he'd chosen the line up. So I guess there is your Insider tidbit for the day. Captain Jay Demerit will not be taking any penalty shots this year. Well that's if he has any say in it I guess.
    How long do you see Long Tan or Blake Wagner plying their trade for the 'Caps? What other companies would you like to see get on board and start backing our youth development?
    Guest

    Reds trade for Alan Gordon

    By Guest, in 24th Minute,

    TFC has traded Nick LaBrocca to Chivas for Alan Gordon.
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    It's not all that surprising that TFC is moving LaBrocca. He played a role similar to a lot of TFC players and was not going to contribute much to the offense. Still, it's more turnover on a club that churns through players at an absurd pace. For those keeping track, when Gordon takes the field he will be the 88th player to wear TFC red in four years and one game. If Toronto plays enough academy kids this year they might just hit their century.
    Gordon, who is best known for his role as "typical MLSer" in the Beckham Experiment is a solid professional that will likely be good for five or six goals in 2011. that doesn't replace Chad Barrett's offense completely, but it's a start. Prior to the move Toronto did not have a secondary scoring option beyond Maicon Santos. Although Barrett might have been a slightly better option, he wouldn't have been $220,000 better option, which is the estimated difference in the two player's salary for 2011.
    For those unaware of Gordon he's a big body and can play an effective target role. He's generally well liked and, as stated above, a pro's pro.
    LaBrocca was a good soldier as well, but he was likely never worth the price Toronto played -- Marvell Wynne. It would have been interesting to see what Aron Winter could have done with a player like Wynne in a wingback position. Alas, Preki made sure we'll never know.
    So, we'll have to settle for seeing what he can do for Alan Gordon.
    Guest
    Today, we're joined by filmmaker Tom Barac - who will appear before the CBC's Dragons Den next month to pitch a Canadian series that is being described as one part Football Factories one part Bucket List. We'll talk to him about the show, what's on his bucket list and if he'll take us with him.
    We'll also get into Adrian Cann returning to Toronto FC, Nana Attakora's ongoing negotiations, discuss the Jason DeVos/Luke Wileman pairing on TSN and joke around about the Whitecaps breaking signing announcements on video games and iPad apps.
    [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
    Duane and I will be away next week - making our way up the West Coast. Our next podcast will be from Vancouver next Friday.
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