Today’s Onward! is directed mostly to those very-smart MLS fans in the States, who are hyped, hopped and ever-so-curious about how out-of-our-skulls excited us reckless, ravenous TFC fans must be over Saturday’s imminent renewal of the Great Greater Great Lakes frenetic footballing fiesta that is Toronto FC's rivalry with Your! Columbus! CREW!!!!
So, in friendly interest of fanning the flames of such fond, fluffy fol-di-rol, I would like to offer two timely, heart-felt utterances:
What rivalry?
[PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
Sure, it started well. Over 3000 red nutters made an epic trek to the Ohio capital for the 2008 opener. A big crowd went in ’09, as well, but after one of them tore up a railing in the south end of Crew stadium, the city of Columbus sent twenty squad cars tearing down, tasering and arresting a grand total of – one Toronto fan.
Since then, no TFC fan group has organized another trip down there. It’s unlikely they will, until it’s a playoff game – and when has Toronto FC ever been in the playoffs?
Things can seem like rivalries, when really they aren’t. Yeah, the fans have it in for each other – bloggers, too. But what really makes a rivalry cook is the actual game on the pitch. And here, well, it’s all been pretty drab and bland, hasn’t it?
The simple fact is, Toronto FC have never defeated the Columbus Crew. It’s been nothing but draws and defeats, and really after a while, that gets kind of numbing. Deadening, even.
The Crew is seen as a tepid little squad with yellow shirts and a Village-People logo that can never, ever lose to Toronto. And things aren’t a whole lot of fun if you’re actually down there wearing a red shirt, so honestly why go?
Some will, certainly. There’ll almost always be a couple of hundred die-hard Toronto road warriors who make the effort. But the days of organized passion up here having anything to do with the United States between Pennsylvania and Michigan are done.
I understand this will come as a bit of a head-scratcher Stateside. How can this now be a rivalry? There’s even a nice little trophy presented every season to the head-to-head winner.
You know how bleacher creatures at Chicago’s Wrigley Field throw back home-run balls hit against their beloved Cubs? I’m pretty sure that’s how TFC fans would react, if Our Reds ever actually beat Columbus a couple of times, and tried to pass that meaningless mug to the die-hard regulars in the South End.
This may shock you, America, but the Houston Dynamo are a better TFC rival than Columbus. Houston usually has at least one Canadian international in the line-up, and there have been some cracking matches along the way – a couple of which Toronto has actually won.
Late in season five of the Toronto FC adventure, Columbus away feels more like a dreary obligation than a Match Of The Season!!!!!!!
So, excuse us if we’re a little quiet on the subject. Never question the passion and commitment of the few Toronto fans who will make the trip on Saturday. But neither underestimate the indifference and apathy to the whole Ohio experience of a significant number of the rest.
Onward!