(10) They win the coin toss and do a lap of honour
(9) Your top striker keeps losing possession during his frequent cigarette breaks
(8) Just to be on the safe side, they're playing ten at the back
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(7) Team beaten by local school kids brought in for the half-time entertainment
(6) Your midfield playmaker got winded licking envelopes
(5) During second-half, you notice players leaving early to beat the traffic
(4) Inner-ear condition makes it impossible for your right-back to stay between sidelines
(3) Your end of season party was held during the all-star break
(2) Your new winger runs so fast that he goes back in time to when they didn't even have football and the local savages gather around him, make fun of his shorts, then beat the shit out of him
(1) You support a team from Toronto
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