Our weekly, sometimes offbeat, look at the best and worst of the week's MLS action. We took your suggestions on board and either embedded videos of our best/worst selections or included links.
We've also decided to scrub the fantasy football stats. Too much work to keep on top of, especially once the trades start happening. We'll keep all the other MLS stats though and maybe even add in a few more.
So what did week 13 of the 2013 season throw up for us?
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<b><u>Games This Week:</u></b>
It was a bye week for Vancouver Whitecaps. Unsurprising. You know how much Martin Rennie likes to experiment.
What that meant of course was that the Caps fell further behind some of their rivals in the hunt for playoff October. Thankfully the increasingly shambolic Chivas USA are still keeping us off the bottom spot in the West.
The PORTLAND Trail Blazers kicked off the weekend as they held court in DC and got a three pointer. Some more nice hand/eye co-ordination on display from the great unwashed, handling the ball in the box but with no penalty awarded. Kind of sums up United's season so far. It was a controlled win from the Timbers, as they maintain their incredible away form this season. Fully deserved the win, with two well taken goals, and they now sit nine points ahead of the Caps. DC had some chances, just not many, and as I watch their games now I can't help but think that it's starting to look a lot like the Caps inaugural season for them at this point in time.
Of course, for now, all of the Whitecaps' attention is on the Voyageurs Cup and if they wanted reminding just how potent MONTREAL's attack can be, especially Marco di Vaio, then this game was perfect pre-game planning for them. It was also a great game to highlight terrible defending mind you as well. What a game. If you're Philadelphia, you have to think that scoring three goals away from home will get you at least a point. It was a fun game to watch. It would have been even more enjoyable if you didn't keep remembering that this is who the Whitecaps will face for silverware on Wednesday. I wouldn't have been surprised to see this game finish 5, 6 or 7 apiece, the way the match was going. Some really poor defending (Jeff Parke nearly scored the most hilarious own goal of the season so far) helped with all this, and should be the big positive that Vancouver can take from watching this game. Montreal are there for the taking at the back, but so are Vancouver. Watching Blake Smith's late fifth, I couldn't help but think this could be the Caps in the Cup final if they have to go chasing the winner late on. Maybe Montreal got all the goals out of the system on Saturday. We'll soon find out.
It looked miserable out there for the NEW ENGLAND game at home to TORONTO. And that was just the game, never mind the weather. I didn't think Toronto played all that badly. They didn't play great but they had some chances and it didn't feel like a two goal defeat. At least not to a non fan. The defending on the second goal was dreadful, but TFC seemed to have a bit of life about them after it. Pity it was in stoppage time by that point. New England just plodded along and got the three points in a somewhat uneventful manner.
In the game with the most objectionable characters on a football pitch since the FUDs visited the Sounders last week, DALLAS welcomed SAN JOSE, in the same way that I'll be welcoming my mother-in-law in a couple of weeks. The Dallas dream start continues apace, with another three points, but their defence was made to work very hard for it from a San Jose side that pushed and pushed but couldn't find a way through. The Earthquakes had looked the better side before Fabian Castillo popped up to grab the only goal of the game in the first half.
It's not quite there yet, but it is getting close to the stage where we want to see a couple of teams (and I shudder at the thought of it being Dallas and Portland) starting to run away at the top of the West and beat everyone else just to keep them down at the Caps level and points total.
Fresh from their Goats slaughtering last weekend, SALT LAKE played host to one of the more unfashionable teams from the East, CHICAGO. And with the pressure they put on the Fire, you felt another four goal haul could have been on the cards for RSL. A combination of misses, the woodwork and Sean Johnson was making it look more and more likely that they were going to be blanked before Alvaro Saborio's fantastic header looked like giving them the win with 12 minutes left. That lead only held for six minutes before Chicago did Vancouver a huge favour and grabbed an equaliser that never looked to be on the cards. Outpossessed two to one, the Fire had two shots on target and found the net on one of them. It does the job at the end of the day and they left with a point. RSL dropped two. Cue Caps smiles.
COLORADO have surprised many with their form this early part of the season. Or more the fact that they've been putting points on the board. They did that last season too, but then fell away badly. If we'd been seeing an 8th v 9th Western battle in this game against CHIVAS, no one would have batted an eyelid. It did feel like you were watching that. Both sides could only muster two shots on target each. Not a classic of a game but Colorado never looked like losing once they went ahead early. Maybe 2-0 flattered them a little but they did deserve the three points. How bad have Chivas become? Well they let Atiba Harris score against them. They moved the ball well on occasions. Just couldn't do anything telling with it. Could be a long couple of months coming up for them. Let's hope the three points that Vancouver dropped to them earlier in the season doesn't come back to haunt the Caps with everyone else picking up the points against them now.
We mentioned last time how good the KANSAS CITY - HOUSTON rivalry continues to be and they had another go at it to kick off Sunday's action. Not the most action packed encounter between the teams that we've seen but some good stuff none the less and the game ebbed and flowed at times, with KC really in the ascendency by the end of it all and Houston only managing to get one shot on target, which they scored. The biggest talking point was the referee awarding a penalty and then changing his mind on the advice of the lino. Great to see a ref not afraid to change his mind on such a big play. With a bit of edge between the two sides, niggly tackles and some regular talking point moments, it'll be a shame for this to be split up if Houston move to the West come the entry of NY2.
COLUMBUS headed in to NEW JERSEY (can we call them that now that we have a proper New York football club entering the fray?) and the two teams served up a cracking four goal thriller. One of the most entertaining games of the season, with some great goals and a lot of talking points coming out of it. The Crew had both a dream and a nightmare start, with Dominic Oduro scoring in the second minute but being injured in the process and having to go off soon after. Thierry Henry was a delight to watch for most of this one. Great finish for his goal but some nice passes and moves, letting himself down with a flying elbow late on which went unnoticed at the time, but surely won't be for too long. New Jersey staged an incredible late push, grabbing the equaliser and then having a crazy 6 on 4 break in stoppage time. They didn't play their best but are now unbeaten in seven and still top of a crowded Eastern Conference.
If Henry gets a ban and misses out against the Caps, it would be a huge boost, especially with Tim Cahill also being away on international duty. Unlikely of course because it Thierry Fucking Henry. Columbus certainly showed that the best way to head into Red Bulls Arena is to not just sit back and try and soak up the pressure. Not sure Rennie will learn that though.
The week rounded off in hilarious fashion as LOS ANGELES ripped SEATTLE a new one. Kind of disappointed they took their foot off the gas and didn't grab four in each half. The second half just turned into a niggly card fest. Baldomero Toledo was in the centre of it all, so surprising there were just two penalties and one sending off the way the game played out. Robbie Keane looked sharp. Seattle didn't. Two attempts on goal all game and none on target. Can we hope that they remain this shit for the Caps visit on June 8th. Get crossing everything you can.
So the shake up after the weekend sees Vancouver remain second bottom of the West but now 14 points off table topping Dallas and six back of Colorado in the final playoff position, with Seattle and San Jose not in the playoff reckoning either right now. If they want to make it back to back playoffs then June is looking ever more important for the Caps.
<b><u>Outfield Player of the Week:</u></b>
You can't really look past hat-trick hero Macro di Vaio now can you? Well until the final game of the weekend, that was a firm, no.
Di Vaio had six shots, four on target and a first half hat-trick. But what did he do of note in the second half? Lazy bastard! Let's hope he used up all his staying onside moves on Saturday and is a bit disoriented when he comes west on Wednesday.
Talking of lazy bastards, another first half hat-trick hero that did nothing in the second half was ROBBIE KEANE, yet he won our PotW award.
If it had just been based on the hat-trick, you have to give it to di Vaio due to Keane having two penalties in his tally. Keane though added an official assist and also played the perfect ball in that led to one of those penalties, so basically two. Add in 31 successful passes and another shot on goal that didn't go in and it was the Irish oiks week.
<b><u>Goalkeeper of the Week:</u></b>
Dallas' Raul Fernandez made six saves and kept a clean sheet for the Texans to help them maintain their lead atop of the West, despite facing what sometimes felt like constant San Jose pressure.
Chicago's SEAN JOHNSON takes our goalie plaudits this week however. He may have let in a goal, which was an outstanding finish, but the big stopper was equally as outstanding himself, making eight saves to keep out wave after wave of RSL attacks. There were a couple of fine saves in there amongst it all, the best being a fingertip touch to help a Javier Morales free kick crash off the crossbar.
<b><u>Goal of the Week:</u></b>
Antoine Hoppenot's long ranger against Montreal was obviously spectacular but you can't give a 'goal of the week' award to a miss-hit shot!
The unlikely winner was Chicago's QUINCY AMARIKWA. I say unlikely because the Fire were simply not at the races for most of the game in Utah. They fell a goal behind then hit back with Amarikwa's spectacular scissor kick from six yards out. Acrobatic and deadly.
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<b><u>Save of the Week:</u></b>
Dallas' Raul Fernandez produced a great point blank stop from a Chris Wondolowski volley, but it was straight at him.
Houston's TALLY HALL came up with a huge fingertip save from a goalbound Kei Kamara header. He didn't have much time to react but came up with the vital tip over, which in the end earned his Dynamo team a crucial share of the spoils.
(WATCH: http://p.mlssoccer.com/SAu5a/video/1745424/mls_2013-05-26-173724.640hq.mp4)
<b><u>Funniest Moment of the Week:</u></b>
Tempted to go with the overall performance from Seattle, but conceding the first penalty, then saving it, then having it retaken was particularly priceless.
In the Montreal-Philly game, Felipe fired a fierce long range shot past the post and straight off the back of the head of an oblivious hooded steward. With his back to the play, he probably had no idea what had hit him. Literally. Still wasn't enough to get him to take his hands out of his pockets by the looks of it though.
<b><u>Fud of the Week:</u></b>
When it comes to leaving the field and wanting to come back on, it appears that they just can't learn the rules in San Jose. Following the farcical scenes that saw the Earthquakes have two guys off changing footwear and then unable to come on whilst play continued, allowing the Whitecaps scored a vital equalising goal, earlier in the season, this time they didn't want to take any chances. STEVEN LEMNHART was off getting medical attention for a bleeding nose but came on before the referee signalled him too and promptly got booked. Fud.
The whole thing could only have been made better if he had subsequently picked up a second yellow or if the booking had meant he missed the next game. As it is, it could still prove costly to him if he racks up a couple more sometime soon.
(WATCH: http://p.mlssoccer.com/SAu5a/video/1744742/mls_2013-05-25-221942.640hq.mp4)
<b><u>Dive of the Week:</u></b>
FABIAN ESPINDOLA's 52nd minute flop in the box to try and win a penalty for New Jersey was particularly horrible. So much so in fact, we never even got a replay of it!
<b><u>Tackle of the Week:</u></b>
Has to go to Kansas City's URI ROSELL. Not solely for the fact that the ref pointed to the spot at first and then changed his mind, but for the simple fact that it was an absolutely outstanding tackle. Vital and perfectly timed.
(WATCH: http://p.mlssoccer.com/SAu5a/video/1745354/mls_2013-05-26-164854.640hq.mp4)
<b><u>Stat Attack:</u></b>
After Week 13 - 119 games
<b>Total goals in week</b> - 27 (282 this season)
<b>Average goals per game</b> - 3 (2.37 ave this season - up 0.05)
<b>Highest scoring team</b> - Montreal (5 goals)
<b>Biggest win this season</b> - 4-0 LA v Chicago (2/3/13) / KC v Chivas (5/5/13) / Houston at DC (8/5/13) / Seattle v San Jose (11/5/13) / LA v Seattle (26/5/13)
<b>Goals scored by feet</b> - 25
<b>Goals by headers</b> - 2
<b>Goals scored by other body parts!</b> - 0
<b>Goals inside box</b> - 23
<b>Goals inside six yard box</b> - 6
<b>Goals outside box</b> - 4
<b>Penalties awarded</b> - 3, all scored (26 this season)
<b>Clean sheets</b> - 5 (64 this season)
<b>Sending offs</b> - 1 (25 this season)
<b>Bookings</b> - 30 (362 this season)
<b>Total attendance this week</b> - 154,033 (2,143,737 total for season)
<b>Average attendance this week</b> - 17,115 (18,015 average for season - up 754)
<b>Highest attendance this week</b> - 24,811 LA v Seattle
<b>Highest attendance this season</b> - 40,150 Seattle v Portland (16/3/13)
<b>Lowest attendance this week</b> - 10,711 New England v Toronto
<b>Lowest attendance this season</b> - 7,121 Chivas v Columbus (2/3/13)
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