MLS fans are pretty much obsessed with comparing the league to other famous leagues in the world -- it’s hard to avoid the question “how good is MLS compared to (fill in league, usually England)."
Let’s turn the table a little bit on that “debate.” If English teams were MLS (or a select few NASL) sides who would they be?
Please don’t post your opinion of this. Clearly it’s a hard science:
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Everton = Chicago Fire
Two good teams that never seem quite as big as they feel they should be. The Fire’s success, within the context of MLS, is about as far removed from glory as is Everton’s.
Stoke City = Columbus Crew
No one outside of the respective cities can possibly love them. Add a distinct blue collar feel and it’s as clear as match as you’ll find in this exercise.
Liverpool = D.C. United
A lot of history; future a little less certain
Blackpool = Houston Dynamo
Um, orange...
Arsenal = New England Revolution
(Post invincibles)...always just not quite good enough.
Manchester City = New York Red Bulls
Rich, but haven’t won anything.
Wolverhampton Wanderers = Philadelphia Union
A gritty team from a gritty town that isn’t as good as they appear on a surface look.
Blackburn Rovers = Sporting Kansas City
Forgotten clubs from forgotten places that once were really good.
Newcastle United = Toronto FC
Both have a large and dedicated fan base that occasionally has a screw loose. Based on all the evidence at hand, they are likely to never win a damn thing. Also, John Carver.
Fulham = C.D. Chivas USA
Both play in cities with much more famous teams. Some Mexican-Americans only cheer for Chivas because of Mexican connection; some Americans only cheer for FC USA for similar reasons.
Leeds United = Colorado Rapids
Good way back when, then bad for a long stretch. Now (maybe) good again. (note: this one is a stretch. Colorado never fits).
Bolton Wanderers = FC Dallas
Both are pretty good teams that are an afterthought even in their own region. However, they will both bite you in the ass if you take them for granted.
Manchester United = Los Angeles Galaxy
Smug and entirely hateable by everyone but their own fans. Within context, both are international brands and very successful. And, of course, David freakin’ Beckham.
Tottenham Hotspur = Portland Timbers
Passionate and loyal fans combined with a moderate (but not overwhelming) amount of success.
Aston Villa = Real Salt Lake
Villa’s form this year aside...the club you are most likely to say ‘wait, they are really good. How did that happen? ’ when they play your team.
Sunderland = San Jose Earthquakes
Sort of out of the way and playing anonymously, both are teams that are good, but not great, and if you were asked to name all the teams in the league without looking both would be who you’d forget.
Chelsea = Seattle Sounders FC
Born on third, thought they hit a triple. There is a vague sense that it’s trendy and that there are a good amount of people in the stands just to be in the stands. However, they’re good and they’re successful so maybe we’re just all jealous.
West Ham United = Vancouver Whitecaps FC
Some really old but impressive history. Like Vancouver, West Ham looks good to be the best of the second tier next year. Like West Ham, Vancouver will probably be the...I’d best stop there least I get myself in trouble with the Whitecaps fans.
Portsmouth = FC Edmonton
It’s unclear whether either will be around in 2012
Cardiff City = Montreal Impact
Both play in a part of country that’s distinct and both are successful at second tier. Welsh fans have similar chip on shoulder as Quebec fans do too.
Luton Town = New York Cosmos
Both clubs have a very good history. Neither side currently exists in a fully professional football league.