With a little more than 24-hours to go before Canada takes to the field against Ecuador we turn our attention to the dozens (hopefully) of new Canadian supporters that will be watching their first national team game tomorrow. Below the jump CSN presents this handy guide to supporting Canada.
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So, you’ve made the jump! Welcome to the Canadian bandwagon. Remember that those of us on first will party the hardest the day it all becomes worthwhile (estimated date: 2048 qualifying cycle). Although there is plenty of room on the bandwagon, do remember that there are some that have been on for awhile. And, they’re cranky. So, here are a few basic rules to follow while at the stadium.
1. All petty regional and club conflicts are to be put aside for the night. Unless you’re from outside Toronto and you see an otherwise innocent fan wearing TFC gear. You may shoot that fan on sight as they should have realized that, well, TFC isn’t Canada DAMMIT.
2. Respect your elders. The Voyageurs have suffered and are generally ridiculed. This is their night. Make it special for them.
3. Buy the bald guy in the front row lots of beer – this rule can’t be stressed enough.
4. We don’t care if you “feel” Ecuadorian. If your great-great grandfather emigrated here from the US via Ecuador (you think) and you grew up in Etobicoke you’re not &*^%ing Ecuadorian.
5. No, really, you’re not.
6. Maybe you should be proud of where you actually come from rather than trying to live via proxy, eh.
7. If you were born in Ecuador and you are here to support your home country we really hope you’ll come back to watch and support Canada the next time they are in town.
8. If you’re mom or dad was born in Ecuador and you’re here to support them, how about you support both teams.
9. If you’re here from Ecuador to support your country, come find the bald guy in the front row, show him your passport and he’ll buy you a beer.
10. If you’re a 5th generation “Ecuadorian” that grew up in Etobicoke and you feel the need to go into the Canadian supporter’s section while waving your flag and generally acting like an ass, well, don’t be surprised if the flag gets shoved up your ass. On the up note your taxes have paid for the healthcare to remove it!
11. The referee is a wanker.
12. You’re right: “Show us your passport” does come off really badly if you don’t understand its nuanced meaning. It’s kind of hard to explain in the passion of the moment though.
13. Don’t, under any circumstance, defend Owen Hargreaves. Just, don’t.
14. Yes, it is always this frustrating.
15. Alex Bunbury = good. Teal Bunbury = a colour
16. The CSA once hired a steel drum band to play before a World Cup qualifying game against Trinidad and Tobago! How messed up is that????
17. The FIFA rankings are crap. We’re bad, but not that bad.
18. You’re right. It is kind of sad that twice as many people show up to watch TFC as come out to support our national team.
19. Hutch was onside. We won the 2007 Gold Cup. I don’t care, we did so.
20. If a little girl from Mississauga that grew up dreaming of playing for Switzerland can be convinced to come out (and wear a cape!) then so can your buddy that swears to God he’s Irish. One fan at a time. One fan at a time...
And, lastly, SUPPORT LOCAL FOOTBALL!