If Toronto FC wins the Trillium Cup I want a parade.
No, really. Yes, it’s an artificial competition with no history, meaning or profile but that doesn’t matter. TFC doesn’t win stuff. Ever*. The city of Toronto doesn’t really either – unless it’s in lacrosse, a sport that only matters to about 15 people worldwide that aren’t of Six Nations ancestory.
So, a parade is in order. After TFC fans take to the streets in mass numbers following the final whistle, of course.
[PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
It doesn’t have to be a big parade. Maybe start at Queen and Dufferin and walk to BMO. The Red Patch can lead it, North End Elite can bring the flares and U-Sector will travel 15 minutes behind the rest of the group after having failed to leave the pub on time. Someone should get David Miller drunk. Maybe the club can let Matt Gold come.
See, we need the celebration. TFC fans need to find the humour in the thing again before collectively they all lose it. If the Carlsberg taps started to have a purple kool-aid option right now I fear how many would be in line.
Yes, a parade. It will be grand. Children will be conceived. People in town for the TIFF will be confused and life will be worth living again. You know, until Colorado beats the Reds on a 89th minute overhead volley from Marvel Wynne. Still, the vacation from the misery will make it worthwhile.
Columbus fans will, of course, make fun of the TFC faithful. That’s OK though. All TFC fans will need to do is remember that A) they live in Ohio; 
they have a tendency to use the word MASSIVE! over and over again in the manner of a 8-year-old; and C) many of them wear matching t-shirts proclaiming themselves to be hooligans.
Let them have their fun. It’s all they really have. We’ll on the other hand, have a parade!
And, everyone loves a parade
*Unless beating Vancouver is all that is required